Liz, Author at Successful Blog Page

Unstick the Stories from the Past that Are Stuck in Your Head

May 27, 2011 by Liz

Any time we walk into a familiar situation, we have advantages of knowing how the situation works. We know the people, the place, and the usual routines that each brings to the “system” of what’s going on. That same advantage of knowing, that is also a disadvantage. It can sabotage us by leading our thinking down the wrong paths or leaving us blind to new behaviors unless they are striking different, unable to see that what we expect isn’t what’s going on.

That disadvantage of knowing a situation is one reason why we can’t check our own work. If we know the thinking that went into it, we can’t find the hidden assumptions or the parts that are missing. We already know why we did what we did. We already know why the people involved chose as they chose.

When we invite an intelligent outsider to table to look with “fresh eyes” and a “fresh mind,” that person won’t necessarily understand when he or she encounters the places where we skipped a step in laying out the logic.

It’s a simple case of you can’t know and NOT know at the same time.

The same is true when we meet up with family and friends. We fall back into roles and relationships so familiar that it can leave us blind. We walk in to the situation with hidden assumptions that make the situation familiar, but also keep folks tied to our definition of who they were, making harder for them to show us who they are now. We all have had the same thing happen to us as our parents or our siblings still see us as we were when we were 12 years old and can’t seem to see us as we are now.

If we want change the way people see us, it could work to try on that role of intelligent outsider.
When we meet up with friends this weekend, what would happen if we looked with “fresh eyes” and a “fresh mind” that offers them a fresh starting place — much like the fresh place a new friend of a friend gets to start a relationship with us?

Or as Barbara Kiviat said in such a memorable way . . .

When you hear a tune in your head, it’s tough to put yourself in the position of a person who doesn’t. —BARBARA KIVIAT, Time

What if we unstick the stories of our friends, family, and ourselves from the past that are stuck in our heads for just that short little while?
How might our relationships with friends, family, and ourselves change?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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Are You Seeing So Much That You’re Blind?

May 24, 2011 by Liz

Finding Your Own Leadership Path

Looking in the Right Direction

Last night, I shared a lovely phone call with Tim Sanders who had just arrived in Chicago after several flight delays and detours. Tim is an amazing traveler. I guess he would have to be a speaker so in demand as he is.

I used to travel like that it takes a certain mindset. To do it well, busy travelers also need to understand how to lower stress and keep our eyes on what’s important. The same is true of people who travel extensively and often.

Does that sound like you?

When I hung up the phone with Tim, I marveled at his energy and generous spirit. I got to thinking about how traveling used to affect me and what I learned that made me a better traveler and a far nicer person to work with.

Are You Seeing So Much That You’re Blind?

Working at a fast pace is much like traveling on too many airplanes. The information coming at as us fast and furious. We become machine-like in our effort to process. We see the details of what we need to navigate. The problem that I found was that I sometimes hyperfocused through to the important navigational and informational details that I was blind to the people in the picture. The people became just more data carriers to inform my goal.

That was a problem. It’s not human. We’re wired to be social not mechanical.

So the more I focused on the information, the more stressed and less social I became. With or without a real itinerary, traveling too fast made see so much I was blind to the people around me.

And when we lose sight of the people around us, they find a way to remind us that they are people not unfeeling data points. Such reminders usually aren’t fun or pretty.

So I learned how to pace my “traveling” with an appropriate amount of “space,” so that my eyes remained open to value the people I meet. Here’s what I do now regularly.

I look at the people I talk with.
I talk more about the people I’m going to see rather than the places I’m going.
I think of every detour, delay, and problem as a chance to meet someone and capture a new story.
I think of myself as a visitor in everyone else’s world.
I make it a point to sit silently for “recess” breaks 3 or 4 times a day — at my desk, on airplanes, in taxis.
DI look at the sky and trees, because it’s hard to feel overly important when I’m face-to-face with creation.

No major magic there. It’s doing what Tim calls feeding our brains, what I call keeping our heads wired to our hearts.

Either way the result is a powerful return on investing.

The more I see the people around me, the more they see good things coming out of me.

What do you do to make sure that you’re not seeing so much that you’re blind?

Be irresistible.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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When a Tire Goes Flat in Front of the Audience, Stop Driving

May 23, 2011 by Liz

This Isn’t Working

On a hot, spring day in May when I was teaching first grade, an acute classic migraine hit me smack between the eyes. I’d lived with the symptoms and studied the condition since I got the first one in grade school, I knew the causes and the effects of this cousin to epilepsy.

This nerve storm would be an award winner. The “aura” — the quiet before the migraine storm — came on with an intensity that signaled that the pain would be following on fast and furious. It also meant that I might lose the feeling my hands or start “wixing my merds,” which wouldn’t be good in this class of 36 six-year-olds who had my number.

So while the kids were doing their math, I made a sign, set it on my desk, facing the class. It said I had gone on vacation.

Then I sat at my desk writing a letter to a friend about how the situation sucked.

A first-grader much like Carol Roth (@caroljsroth) came up to my desk to ask a question. I acted invisible and kept writing, as if we were on two different points in the time-space continuum.

She picked up the sign and read it to the class, “Miss Monterastelli has gone on vacation to Hawaii.” She put the sign back on the desk with some authority.

A voice from a Chris Brogan (@chrisbrogan sort of young man said, “Hey, that means we don’t have to do our work!”

Then a voice from a Amber Naslund (@AmberCadabra sort of young lady said, “Yeah but if we did that, when she gets back, she’d give us THAT look.”

So they went on with their work and I waited for my migraine medication to take effect so that I could get back to my class and back to our work.

When a Tire Goes Flat in Front of the Audience, Stop Driving

I was at presentation a while ago. The speaker was someone I’d looked forward to hearing. She not only knows her subject matter, but comes high recommended as someone who can keep an audience engaged.

As the presentation got rolling, it became apparent that she had built her presentation for a different audience. The slides were over-packed with information that didn’t apply to the people in the room. It also seemed that she had realized that too, because as she spoke her confidence waned.

She didn’t have the option of putting up a sign and building a new presentation, but she might have untangled the situation by stepping back and starting over just the same.

If only she’d stopped, stepped back, and said, “You know this is not working, let me try something else. I’m going to close my computer and start over with a few questions from you.”

The audience would have thought her a hero for saving them an hour of time wasted. The humanity and courage of setting aside her plan for them would have said volumes about her respect. What had gone haywire could have been a super win.

Instead, despite her own discomfort, the speaker chose to plow through to the end with the presentation that didn’t work.

When a tire goes flat, it’s a bad idea to keep driving. The same principle works here. If you know that what you’re doing isn’t working, stop, step back, and start over in a new way.

It’s not the plan that counts it’s the quality delivery to the audience.

Whether we’re telling, helping, or selling, sometimes we can misjudge where our heads are or what the audience needs. We can often feel it by the lack of feedback in the room. It never hurts to ask, if the group wants or needs to go another direction.
They’ll make you a hero for making it about them.

And about those first graders …

After about a half hour, I felt much better and took down the sign sign. Luckily I had been to Hawaii, because I was greeted with a long list of questions about what I’d done and seen while I was on vacation there.

Do you have a story about plowing on when you should have stopped or starting over and being glad you did?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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Thanks to Week 291 SOBs

May 21, 2011 by Liz

Successful and Outstanding Bloggers

Let me introduce the bloggers
who have earned this official badge of achievement,

and the right to call themselves
Successful Blog SOBs.

I invite them to take a badge home to display on their blogs.

They take the conversation to their readers,
contribute great ideas, challenge us, make us better, and make our businesses stronger.

I thank all of our SOBs for thinking what we say is worth passing on.
Good conversation shared can only improve the blogging community.

Should anyone question this SOB button’s validity, send him or her to me. Thie award carries a “Liz said so” guarantee, is endorsed by Kings of the Hemispheres, Martin and Michael, and is backed by my brothers, Angelo and Pasquale.

Want to become an SOB?

If you’re an SO-Wanna-B, you can see the whole list of SOBs and learn how to be one by visiting the SOB Hall of Fame– A-Z Directory . Click the link or visit the What IS an SOB?! page in the sidebar.

–ME “Liz” Strauss

5 People Who Can Turn Your Community into a Focused Influence Network

May 17, 2011 by Liz

It More Than What Naturally Occurs

I sat at Brogan’s Roast earlier this month and the thought struck me how much we depend on each other. No one would question that our friend, Chris, enjoys the friendship of thousands of folks who would stand by him and help whenever he needs it. All you had to do was be there to feel the expanse of love in the room coming from the countless people who are in his massive network of colleagues, friends, coworkers, family and people who consider him their teacher.

Numbers like that can provide a huge pool of energy when you want to help a cause, make something happen, or move an idea across the internet. Certainly that’s true. But knowing a lot of people and even having a lot of people who know you is not the same as having a strategic network. To be strategic, we have to look how we the sort of individuals in our networks into groups. How we sort our networks into groups can support or thwart our goals. Our choices in mentally forming those groups inform our decisions about who we listen to and what we do.

Most people consciously or unconsciously group their community in an outward fashion. If you ask, they can see how the community becomes part of what they do. Who are the people in your community groups?

Chris will always have people who are like him, those who aspire to be like them, and those who can’t or won’t ever do the work to get where he is or is going to..
Cult leaders see their community as those who spread the message, those who follow the message, those ready to be converted.
Builders see their community as those who provide resources and funding, those use the tools, and those who buy and use what they build.
Financial analysts see their community in three groups: those who can count and those who can’t. (and the rare group who notices that was only two.)

That sort of grouping naturally occurs in any community group.
It takes more — 5 particular types of people — to turn that community into a focused influence network.

5 People Who Can Turn Your Community into a Powerful Influence Network

Strategy looks at building something with thought and opportunity to strengthen the network and build a well-rounded group. Rather than looking who shows up in an outward fashion. Strategy builds with a plan of action. Strategy chooses five types of people who can provide infrastructure and stability that power the network with information and communication when we want our networks to help that cause, make that something happen, or move that idea across the internet.

Look at successful leaders — people you think of as influencers and people who enjoy repeat success. They’ve gone past community to developed information channels. They have skills at collecting and managing their contacts. They also include five kinds of people in their networks to keep the systems working fluidly and with balance. Can you spot these five in the successful communities you know?

Leaders – Leaders exemplify the vision and clearly articulate the mission. In a company or community, they live the brand. Leaders know where we’re going and what to do when the unforeseen appears. Leaders are masters at integrating information into a whole picture and communicating how nuance of a small change might or might not affect an overall plan.
Scouts and Guides – Scouts know the terrain that must be covered. They keep an eye on the competitive ground. They understand and translate new territories. They know where the shortest paths can be found. They see the possible opportunities, pitfalls, and possibilities for ambush.
Sleuths and Spotters – Sleuths are fascinated by changes that dicrupt and catch fire. They stay close to the competitive edge, monitoring what is becoming popular. They’re first to know that a new tool is gaining traction and the first to try it. More than early-adopters they gather the global intelligence of the group to report on the fever behind the trend.
Insighters – Insighters are the perceptive and well-connected people who can give you the inside scoop and insight into how an influencer or decision-maker might view a situation. Their skills are particularly useful when someone’s decision or response to your actions might affect you in significant ways.
System Pros – Systems pros know every detail of a particular system and every role that make it work. They ensure fluid, efficient operation and tend to potential breaks before they occur. Systems pros are driven to tweak the system to constantly and consistently meet and exceed the goals of the network to reach out in connection and communication and gather information to improve performance overall.

It takes a focused team to manage the firehouse flow of information that comes at us from every direction. It takes that same kind of focus to deliver on a promise of service that will scale beyond the one Chris Brogan or even that brand team that might want to be everywhere doing everything in the best way we know. The people who celebrated this guy we all admire and love came in many types and play many roles in the community that is Team Brogan. We’d all be wise to find a few of those types to support us too.

If you look in your community, I bet you’ll find that you’ve got a few of them already there. How will you introduce yourself and invite them into your brand?

Be Irresistible.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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7 Ways to an Attractive, Authentic Relationship … With Yourself

May 16, 2011 by Liz

About this time each year, new folks discover the energy, the community, and the benefits of being online.
About this time each year, folks who’ve been here often get back that “new blogger feeling.”
And some folks even start looking back at where they’ve been to figure out where they might be going.

I do all of that.

And today finds me thinking of what makes successful and lasting online relationships.
The longer I look it, the more I realize it relies on how well we relate to ourselves.

So rather than talk about how to be visible to people you want to meet, how to attract people who care about what you’re doing, why not take a minute spending time on what it takes for you to get to know you?

Top 7 Ways to an Authentic Relationship … With Yourself

If you read down this list, it’s fairly obvious that the same seven apply to relationships with other people as do to the relationship you might want to build with you. The advantage of taking the time to reflect on these seven and yourself is that knowing who you bring to those other relationships is foundational to forging something valuable and lasting at every turn.

Do you treat yourself as well as you expect yourself to treat other people?
Do you give yourself the respect that you deserve?
Do you keep your promises to yourself and value your input?
All of these will build a better relationship with yourself and with other people.

Show up whole and human. Do you see yourself as a person or a worker? Do you hold yourself up to some superhuman standards? Isn’t it unfair (and maybe a little snobby) to set one standard for yourself and another for everyone around you? Show up for everyone. Give yourself the time — and the you — you would give your best friend.
Talk in your authentic voice. A good part of authenticity is knowing when we’re hiding behind our history. Another good part is seeing and admitting when we’re feeling one thing and saying that we feel something quite different. Choose the authentic kind words that express who you are now and what you are feeling. Know when to share them and when to keep them near you. But trust your “self” and your voice to know the authentic life you’re living.
Tell your own truth.We all grew up with “tape recordings in our heads” that contradict what we know is true about ourselves. Why do we talk as if those are the reality? Stop long enough to gather the skills you’ve built. Reflect for the time it takes to appreciate why you might want to be friends with you. Learn what it is you are uniquely good at doing and don’t be afraid to tell the truth about who you are. The world didn’t hold a meeting to decide only one kind of person can be here.
Have room for folks to tell theirs too. Hear the truth when it hides inside what other folks are saying. Ask until you know, believe, and feel that you’re communicating. Make it easy for them to share what might be weighing on their heads and their hearts with you. What you’ll find by listening to their truth with all of your being is that knowing the their truth deeply enough to understand it won’t hurt you. It opens us up to accept our own humanity.
Donât try to tie ideas up in a bow. Life doesn’t come in boxes that organize well with single labels. It’s rare that one occasion will summon up only one word or emotion. Enjoy the depth and live the kaliedoscope changes. Each breath of color and dimension adds new meaning that will get shut off and cut off if you try to categorize or define every minute. We aren’t meant to define our lives so completely. We’re meant to live them.
Half the show is in the comments. Now and then take a moment to stop, reflect, and collect your own opinion on who you are without outside influence. Sit with yourself in your personal invisible comment box and have a conversation about who you are and where you’re going. If you don’t like the goals and the destinations, change them. If you don’t like the design of your life, get a new one.
Be helpful, not hypeful. . . . Make everything about them not you. Default to what generates energy. Help yourself by helping other people. It’s not natural for a human to be a hermit. When the dark weather settles around you, reach out to help someone who is facing a far worse climate. Don’t think about how people treat you – those who get it wrong, don’t “get” it. Be your own model of how it should work and enjoy being it.

And when you make that relationship with yourself, you’ll find you’re the kind that attracts other people. They’ll see that you value what you bring and that what you offer is real.

So go ahead, what could be wrong with being someone you like, respect, and want to be with?

Be irresistible.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

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