Successful Blog

Shashi and Barbara on Social Media for Business and Networking

by

The theme of SOBCon09 is the ROI of Relationships. To underscore the importance of relationships in business and to have a chance to make and celebrate a few while we’re doing that, I’ve opened up this series by successful and outstanding bloggers like you.

Two SOBCon09 attendees have great new slideshare presentations online.

Social Media To Get More Business (DC Web Women) by Shashi Bellamkonda

Shashi Bellamkonda can be found at Happenings, advice & other technology thoughts ! and his twitter name is shashib

Social Networking 101 For Consultants by Barbara Rozgonyi

Barbara Rozgonyi can be found at wiredPRworks.com and her twitter name is @wiredprworks

Time to buy Liz’s ebook NOW!!

How Do Get You People to Stop Listening to Words and Start Hearing Ideas?

by

Semantics Isn’t Conversation

In any conversation, a simple word I choose may have an unexpected effect on you. I have no way of knowing when you have “history” with ordinary words I regularly use.

A word such as curiosity, or money, or gorgeous might trigger a specific and negative response. I’ll have no clue that I’ve touched off feelings, negative feelings. I won’t suspect that one word has changed the tone of my presentation from neutral to negative.

It’s an accident because of something or someone in the past.

Looking for the Wrong Words

What folks encounter negative words it’s easy for them to have negative thoughts. They transfer their experience to the the person who said them, even when the words said aren’t thought of as hurtful, negative, or mean to most people. Communication breaks. Those listeners get distracted in that way.

It’s confusing when folks flinch at something we think is innocuous. We often feel misunderstood and try to explain that we meant no harm. It’s a defensive posture that rarely works. Rather than getting caught in explanation, looking for the tripwire word can be most helpful. If we ask about the message received, we avoid the risk putting our focus on our own intentions, but on the hearing the person who feels something wrong was said.

Here are some ways to bring the focus back to listening — when it seems that we’re getting distracted by words, and not hearing ideas.

  • Know what you want the outcome to be That means listening to the people — their tone, their pauses, their enthusiasm level — not just the words they’re saying.
  • The fear of negative comments — in person and on our blogs — is over-blown. Allowing people to play with language and to enjoy the conversation can be a conceptual collaboration.
  • Giving up the need for control — making room for tangents — can reap great benefits in involvement.
  • Look at faces when the eye contact is too intense.
  • Notice how your conversation partner sits and moves. Lean into the conversation, literally and figuratively.
  • Ask questions about points that interest you. Find many of them.

In other words, let the person talking know you value what he or she is saying. Signal everyone around that person’s importance to all who might be around. Listen actively. In other words, pay attention with the expectation that you will be asked to solve a problem with the very next question.

Conversations sometimes derail over words that we think about differently. When that happens how do you get people to stop listening to words and start hearing ideas?

–ME “Liz” Strauss

The Dangers of Old Think and the Dangers of Thinking New

by

The stories on the top of Google Blog Search Business aren’t optimistic. They haven’t been for a while. Yet the predictions for social media, mobile and the growth of online advertising are huge. New jobs are being invented, described and defined, and invested in. New people are learning new skills to do them.

What happens to businesses that keep thinking “old think” when huge new opportunities are happening?

Saturday on Twitter, Dan Pancost offered these thoughts in response to my question.

@jazzlover: Those not willing to change with the times will still be hurting…. They’ll experience a lot of missed opportunities. Their businesses will probably begin a decline.

Adapting and changing to this new terrain is vital, thrilling, but not as simple as it seems.

Are You Trying to Fit Old Think into a Culture That’s New?

Past successes often inspire us to new things. It’s been said that “success breeds success.” But that isn’t always so. When we take on a new endeavor, we have to take on the new behaviors that will propel it up and forward. Yet, who hasn’t tried to use skills that made success in the past to build a future?

The old skills and perspectives don’t work when the culture and climate are new.

“Old think” businesses simply won’t prosper as much as the more flexible business thinkers and doers. Dan added later in the conversation. It would seem that most folks who read here would understand what Dan meant. I totally agree with what he said. We need to get out from under the burden of old thinking, to throw off old habits and thoughts to take on new ones.

But new thinking is dangerous too. I see signs of new thinking gone wrong every day. Here’s a few ways that thinking new can derail us just as horrendously.

  • It’s a good idea because it’s new. We act as if our fluency with the new culture ourshines our lack of experience. It’s still a new culture. We do foolish things and have unfortunate ideas.
  • Bye bathwater. Bye baby too! We turn our backs on what could still serve us well. Previous relationships and processes that have value get set aside. We take our new ideas out for a spin in our new environment, leaving safety nets and guideposts in a past life.
  • Everyone’s doing it! Our values become those of the new culture without thought. We do what everyone is doing. We accept everyone’s rules.

Whatever the economy, whether you’re solo or CEO of a huge enterprise, the challenge is continuous. How do we keep the best of what we know and throw off what is no longer true?

Old think or new think nothing beats thinking things through.

Depending on where you sit in the social business world, I’m thinking you see people in danger of old think or in danger of new think. What advice do you have to offer the thinking business folks you know?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

Questions: Are Social Tools Making Introverts into Extroverts?

by

Energy Inside or Out

Today in a telephone conversation with @PJMcGuire, we talked about how people see us and who we are. She mentioned that she had called herself a “people person,” and someone she works with said, “No, you’re more than that, you’re a traditional extrovert. You get your energy from other people.”

I’ve always found the differences between introverts and extroverts to be fascinating — mostly because each group seems to think that the other is flawed. Even those of us who don’t know or don’t understand the basic difference between the two groups seem to think that there is a right way to respond. Meaning another way must be wrong.

Introverts renew their energy by going inside themselves. When they’re bearing stress, they seek to be alone to find comfort and solve problems. Other people’s energy drains their reserve. Introverts are less likely to seek stimulation from others because their own thoughts and imagination are stimulating enough.

Extroverts refuel by being with other people. When the house falls in, they want to talk it out. Hearing themselves talk is how they solve problems. When they’re with other people they get recharged. Extraverts (also spelled extroverts) tend to be gregarious, assertive, and interested in seeking out excitement.

Are Introverts Becoming Extroverts on the Social Web?

Dr. Mike Wesch said, “The media mediates relationships.” As we lose context, we reach out for community. Research shows that younger generations are more extroverted.

It’s not fully understood why some people are introverts and others extroverts. The ratio is changing over time. CPP (formerly Consulting Psychologists Press) is the publisher of the Myers-Briggs assessment and has testing data going back 50 years. It plans to release research showing younger generations are becoming increasingly extroverted. Those born before 1964, including baby boomers, are split about 50-50 between introversion and extroversion, but 59% of Generation X (born 1965-81) are extroverted, as are 62% of Millennials (born after 1981). —Not all successful CEOs are extroverts

I interviewed bloggers daily for over a year. It became clear within a short time that the bloggers I spoke with overwhelmingly described themselves as independent introverts. That seemed to make sense then. Blogging is a writing task that requires reflection. Now I wonder whether that was then and the folks who chose to participate.

Now I see the changes in myself and some of those interviewees as I look across the web. It took me a long time to get to Twitter, but now … beware following me. I tweet a lot when I’m there.

Many of us have been slow to adopt Twitter then become very chatty as we get comfortable there.

People see me as an extrovert, but I’m not. I’ve heard the same from blogger friends. I understand why people think so. I look around and wonder … are the tools making us extroverts or just making us seem so? Are we introverts or have we become something different in this context?

Are introverts becoming extroverts on the social web?

Can we really think of it as being extroverted if we’re not actually WITH other people?

Is it possible for an introvert to become an extrovert — changing energy source from inside to out?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

What Robert Hruzek said . . . about Listening for Gold

by

A community isn’t built or befriended,
it’s connected by offering and accepting.
Community is affinity, identity, and kinship
that make room for ideas, thoughts, and solutions.
Wherever a community gathers, we aspire and inspire each other intentionally . . . And our words shine with authenticity.

When We Listen for Gold

Everyone is hungry to be heard, but we don’t have bandwidth to listen to everyone. So we filter to get to the gold … faster, easier, and more deeply.

What are we missing

Here’s what Robert said . . .

Howdy Liz! I liked that “panning for gold” analogy so I took it a bit farther…

I know folks who are always “skimming” for big ideas and world-shaking nuggets. They may (or may not) find one, but the fact is, those types of things are actually few and far between.

On the other hand, if they’d just “shift their sights” even a little bit, there’s a whole bunch of smaller chunks, just lyin’ around for the taking. Tune your sight to the finest setting and you’ll find there’s a ton o’ dust down there at the bottom of the barrel. All we gotta do is drill down to it.

I guess what I’m sayin’ is, we should learn to listen to whole conversations, not just search for, and key on, certain “triggers”.

There are riches at every level.
Robert Hruzek from a comment on April 21, 2009

A successful and outstanding blogger said that.
–ME “Liz” Strauss

Register for SOBCon09. May 1-3!

Don’t miss a chance to change your life.

Hidden Assumptions and Business Likeability

by

Twitter Conversations and Reality

One strength of Twitter is the speed, reach, and ease of connection that is social business. In a few tweets and direct messages, we can gather a team and make a project happen.

The Likeability Factor as Tim Sanders defined it — friendliness, relevance, empathy, and authenticity — is a critical component to online social business. We make business relationships and referrals from our “friends” list on Twitter.

Social business connections happen so quickly and easily. It’s not hard to develop a false sense of a person’s abilities. Extended online business conversations that explore theory, philosophy, and expertise can overshadow the reality that we’ve never actually seen or worked with a person.

Hidden Assumptions and Business Likeability

As a young manager making my first hire in the offline world, I was swayed by whether I liked the candidates sitting across from me.

But when folks can’t or don’t do the job, they become problematic no matter how likeable they are in a more social context.

Tim Sanders suggested likeability was necessary, not a replacement for, traditional skills sets. It’s easy to get caught in hidden assumptions about these equally important business “abilities.”

  • CAPABILITY – Does this person actually have the skill set that job requires? Conversation is not the same as the ability to actually do something well.
  • “RESPONSE ABILITY” – Does she respond quickly, thoughtfully, with a focus and a solution that will last longer than 140 characters?
  • BELIEVABILITY – Does he tell the truth, even when it’s not easy? Have we actually experienced that?
  • ADAPTABILITY – Will the person understand when change happens without responding like a frustrated 4-year-old?
  • ACCOUNTABILITY – Does she own what she does, fix what she breaks, and strive for quality?

BUSINESS LIKEABILITY – competent, trustworthy, and a pleasure to work with.

No time before has any culture had the power to build deep, strategic networks so efficiently. The connections have incredible potential to keep our businesses growing with minimal overhead and maximum accomplishment. No time before has business been so global and fluid. We’re learning to navigate a new reality.

We have to keep remembering to ask questions.

Do online conversations to lead to hidden assumptions more often than the offline equivalent?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!