What Draws People to You?
I have a friend who lights up every room that she enters. People are drawn to her. They gather around her. She’s a delight and so everyone wants to spend time with her. You might be surprised to know that she’s an introvert and doesn’t much like being in big groups.
Like me, this shy friend did her time standing against the wall watching from the outside while the great conversations happened just a few feet away from her. Then she cracked the secret of how to be in the conversation and help others belong in the conversation too.
How to Be the Most Magnetically Attractive Person in the Room
Much of what I know about feeling good in a big room comes from the time I spent watching my shining friend meet and greet people she doesn’t know and get them to talk with her. That introvert consistently becomes the most magnetically attractive person in the room. Introvert or not, here’s how you can do it.
- Smile. If it feels like everyone is looking at you, look at them. Look people in the eye and smile. Look like you’re someone easy to be with, friendly and approachable. Read on to get an idea on how to do that.
- Assume kinship. Decide that you have something in common with everyone. Make it your goal to find out what it is. Something brought you both into the same room.
- Take the “self” out of self-confidence. Be confident that every person will teach you something you didn’t know before. It could be a new idea, a new story or a practice at listening.
- Start a conversation. Have a favorite easy, open question that solicits a creative answer or opinion. Mine is What do you do when you’re not this? Others are: If you could be anywhere right now, what would be doing? How does this event compare to the last event you attended? Mind if I ask your advice about how to meet some of the people in this room?
- Wear something that gets folks commenting. Every notice how easy it is to talk to the man with the huge watch or the woman with colorful scarf. An interesting accessory invites conversation. Choose something that makes it easy to say “hello.”
- Be approachable. As you’re talking to someone and you see someone approaching reach out an arm to invite that person into the conversation. You might pause to say, “Come on in.” Find out the person’s name. Introduce him or her into the conversation. Then continue on.
I’ve seen the magic that my friend spins whenever she steps outside herself to focus on every other person in the room. I’ve found it’s not just her talent. It’s a strategy that also works for me. And it can work for you.
To be the most magnetically attractive networker in the room, the key is to make it easy, smart, fun, and meaningful to talk to you. The same approach works online too.
What tricks have you found to be more approachable in a networking room?
–ME “Liz” Strauss
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