Successful Blog

The Ties That Bond

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A Guest Post by Linda M. Lopeke, The SMARTSTART Coach

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Not feeling the love in your social media relations?

Social media is a channel for building relationships from the comfort of home while cloaked in the anonymity of the internet. A place where your own actions and behaviours determine whether you thrive or dive. A place where your voice is a more likely to be unheard, lost in the gathering crowd, or (worse) deemed unremarkable. The same place where lasting friendships and stellar reputations can be made (or lost) in 140 characters at the touch of a send button.

If you truly seek to connect and fully experience the wonder of social community, you must first accept that the same standards required for successful face-to-face interactions apply to creating distant ties that bond. Satisfying relationships are born when you communicate effectively and establish mutual trust. Only then can bonds grow strong enough to meet our human need to connect. If you remain anonymous, or are incongruent in your actions, comments and tweets, the digital world will likely be a lonely, meaningless place for you.

In the virtual world, everyone is suspect until proven otherwise. And body language is expressed in punctuation, personality in photos and multi-media and both are responded to by sharing, digging and re-tweeting. The good news is it is entirely possible to feel close to someone you have never met. Sharing the truth about who you are is one way. Seeing the truth about those you encounter along the way is another.

Don’t overcomplicate the friendships you establish online. Just wear your truth. Unpretentiously. Confidently. Through trial and error, you’ll soon be able to quickly see who is loyal, interesting, and trustworthy and who is just there to pimp a link or push another product.

Ditch the fake personas, wannabes and also rans. Care less about what people think about you and more about whether or not you have anything useful to contribute. Be harder on yourself than others, but don’t take any of it so seriously you start measuring your own worth (and that of others) in meaningless friend and follower counts.

There are many ties that bond across the digital divide if you let them. The mentor who can teach you things you won’t learn in any book. The v-friend you feel comfortable reaching out to and sharing private information with. The e-lover who is neither friend or frenemy but who could turn out to be either in a nanosecond. The i-quaintance whose name you recognize but with whom your relationship is more casual than committed. There’s even the f-buddy who fails at social media because they’ll never see you as anything other than an outlet for link lust or an opportunity to pimp themselves.

Ahh, the digital playground. Where everyone wants to plug in and get naked. And everyone else needs to learn how to play safe and follow the unspoken rules.

Take care! —
Linda M. Lopeke
SMARTSTART: Success-to-go for people working @ the speed of life!

Thanks, Linda! I couldn’t agree more!

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Make social media work toward your goals!

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Why People Pay Attention…

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A Hospital with ADD

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In the ER
It was a long flight home from Amsterdam through Madrid to Chicago. I expected to be tired on arrival, but the day after I arrived something terrible was wrong. I felt like I was shot in my left side. The pain was constant, strong, and worse than childbirth. Five hours in, I knew I needed to find out what was going on.

My husband had H1N1. No way he could come with me. I went to the ER alone. In a short time they found me a place. set me up for a x-ray and a CT scan. A friend caught up with me via text and came to sit by me for hours while I waited. My cell phone didn’t work so I couldn’t call home.

My mouth was dry, too dry to talk. They gave me ice chips when they remembered. They never gave me a way to call for more. On the way back from the x-ray I asked for more ice or water. An hour later, I was still without.

When the tests were over, they said I had a mass in my lungs (pneumonia), a blood infection (ecoli), and kidney stones. Maybe and hour later or so, they said were going to admit me. My friend went home.

After being alone for a long while, I sent a note to the ER desk asking someone to call my husband or my son before they admitted me to tell them what was going on. The Dr. in charge of ER that night pronounced that he didn’t have time to make such a call. He spoke loud enough for me to hear him, but couldn’t walk the ten steps over to tell me himself.

I’d now been gone from home almost 6 hours. My husband had no idea what was happening with me. By then what the doctor had told me was a faint memory. I wasn’t able to answer questions about it. The pain was still there despite the pain meds they’d given me.

In the Room
The first doctors I saw were residents. They didn’t introduce themselves as such they just started asking questions about what medications I take. One took notes and took the name of my pharmacy wrote both in my chart

She told me to keep taking those meds.

I asked three times to be sure that was what she wanted, explaining that I have gone as long as week with out those meds and she said keep taking them.

Apparently this information was not important enough for other doctors to read.

This proved a serious mistake when they put me out for the procedure to remove the kidney stone. Because my meds interacted with the meds they gave me for procedure.

My oxygen level dropped deadly low — well below 80, I heard as low as 60 — causing me twice to have seizures on the table while they were getting me ready to go for removal of the stone.

I didn’t die, but I could have.

Back in my room I was on oxygen and a monitor now. Some help that monitor was. If I moved a certain way, the alarm on the monitor would show zero and sound an alarm. No one would come. We timed it once at 20 minutes without a response. Another friend who was there every day to watch over me knew how to turn off the noise.

I asked the charge nurse why bother with a machine if they weren’t going to come. The answer was a weak smile, a look away with her eyes, and a blanket apology.
“I’m sorry.”
“No. You are not.”

I can’t help but wonder what was more distracting or important than reading the charts and answering alarms?

What was more worth their attention?

Some people don’t pay attention even when it’s their job.

A Community Who Paid Attention

I was released after 8 days. The surgeon who performed the procedure hadn’t been to check that all was well with the stent he’d left in. I’d not seen him since 5 days before. I went home with about half as much pain as when I had arrived.

Then something beautiful, embarrassing, and unexpected happened. People started to tell my simple story of how hospital stay had knocked me low. They shared it on their blog and on Twitter and in messages to me that are unforgettable. Thank you, Deb Ng, Lucretia Pruitt, and Jenn Fowler for thinking of me. Thank you everyone who chipped in. And thank you to Kathryn and everyone who guest posted for all of the work you did keeping my blog going on.

People pay attention because they care.

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I am grateful this Thanksgiving for every second of your attention.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

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9 Things I’ve Learned About Social Media

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Guest Post by Tom O’Brien

photo by Tom O'Brien
photo by Tom O'Brien

Two weeks ago I was on a panel for the AC Nielsen Center for Marketing Research at UW talking about social media and market research to executives from Wal-Mart, General Mills, Kraft, Microsoft, Johnson & Johnson and 50 or so others. I was asked to share some lessons learned about SM – from the perspective of a brand marketer.

Here are my lessons learned personally and professionally over the last 10 years of heavy involvement in this space.

1. What people say to each other is more important than what we say to them.
2. People no longer rely on brands for information.
3. Advocates are more important than influencers.
4. Brand mentions are just the tip of the iceberg – somewhere between 5% and 30% of the relevant category conversation. You should listen to the whole conversation.
5. If you want to participate be helpful, human and humble.
6. When you participate, put the community’s interests & motivations first.
7. Connect to existing passion, don’t just make stuff up.
8. If you want new ideas, look beyond your category.
9. Brand advocacy is the most important metric today – are people recommending your brand to others.

Of course I could elaborate – for a LONG time on each of these, but I think you will get the gist.

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Tom O’Brien is CMO at MotiveQuest LLC He also writes for A Human Voice. You can find him on Twitter as TomOB

——
Yeah, Tom. Those points are familiar and could take volumes to explain and discuss. Hope we get to have that conversation one day soon. Thank you!

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

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When An Apology Can Open the Door to Trust

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In case you missed this … I wrote this about a year ago, yet it seems just as valid now.

Not All Apologies Are Equal

In relationships, things go wrong. Person to person or in business, mistakes and missteps can be life changing. A wrongly placed word or deed can bring in question what had gone without thought. Suddenly trust, integrity, honesty, sensitivity, authenticity and the core values that connect us are tested.

Mistakes. No human enterprise or individual gets by without making them. We might not mean them. No harm might have been intended. Yet, we’re not harmless — we can cause hurt or damage by the way we behave. How we respond when we do, is what makes a leader.

In a business relationship recently, my property was mishandled. When I asked about it — when and how it happened — the representative said something like this …

I hear you. We’re sorry it happened. We’re looking into it, but I doubt we’ll ever know the exact sequence of events. Can we move forward now?

Not all apologies are equal. I’m not the only one who wouldn’t call that an apology.

An apology that deflects attention, that says “I regret it happened,” is not an apology.
An “I’m sorry” that doesn’t own the damage done won’t rebuild trust.
An incomplete apology is a missed opportunity to build a stronger relationship by learning from what went wrong.

Apologies that Rebuild Trust, Relationships, and Reputations

Mistakes. No human enterprise or individual gets by without making them. We might not mean them. No harm might have ever been intended. The fact remains, we’re not harmless — we can cause hurt or damage by the way we behave. How we respond when we do, is what makes a leader.

Meet a mistake with trust, the mind of a learner, and a truly other-centered apology and a newer, stronger relationship can be the result. To offer a relationship-building apology, we have to show up whole and human — with our head, heart, and purpose reaching out to fix the bonds that we’ve broken.

No person has lived a life without once behaving badly. Apologies can connect us on that point. A relationship-building apology includes many parts and a whole human behind them.

  • a statement of regret …
    I’m sorry.
  • ownership of the act and responsibility for the outcome …
    I behaved badly … It was may fault this happened.
  • acknowledgment of hurt or damage …
    It made you feel small … It broke your — … It lost you business.
  • a promise for better behavior in the future …
    It won’t happen again.
  • a request or or statement of hope for forgiveness or renewed trust …
    I hope you can believe in me.

Apologies are about admitting human error. If you worry about saying the wrong thing, write it down and offer a choice the other person a chance to read it or listen while you do. The point is to be human and mean what we say.

Keep the apology simple. Don’t use an apology to move other issues forward. Save other conversations for other days.

Never lose the opportunity to apologize.
Never take that opportunity away from someone.

Which Social Media Apologies Rebuild Trust?

In the online world, every mistake has a potential for magnification. Every word has millions of opportunities to be misread. The ability to apologize with grace and respect can build respect, relationships, and reputation. In a trust economy, the apology is a powerful form of communication. Simply said and complete, a sincere apology shows respect, inspires confidence, and makes a great step toward rebuilding the trust to move forward.

Here are five well known social media apologies …
Dell’s 23 Confessions
A Commitment On Edelman and Wal-Mart
JetBlue Launches Cross-Media Apology Campaign
Turner Broadcasting Apology Letter
Motrin

In your opinion, which social media apologies rebuild trust with the community?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

SOB Business Cafe 10-23-09

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SB Cafe

Welcome to the SOB Cafe

We offer the best in thinking — articles, books, podcasts, and videos about business online written by the Successful and Outstanding Bloggers of Successful Blog. Click on the titles to enjoy each selection.

The Specials this Week are

John Haydon
I was on the phone yesterday with a prospective client who expressed concern from her board about losing control. “I know that we need to eventually start blogging and tweeting,” she said. “but our board members are concerned about losing control.” She went on to describe what I think are extremely valid concerns:

Beth’s Blog
This morning I gave a presentation for a group of senior marketing people from performing arts centers around the country on social media. I’ve done a number of presentations and workshops for arts organizations over the years and have even created a wiki “Social Media for Arts People” with stories, links, and other resources, but haven’t spoken to arts organizations recently. It was a good opportunity to see how things have changed.

the incslinger
Social Media is the new darling of many brands, the silver bullet that will fix all ills. While some brands have made major in roads in discovering a new method of expanding their ability to reach their customers and potential customers some have quite obviously become so over enamoured with Social Media that they have forgotten the basics of managing a brand.

Barry J Moltz
To conquer the feeling of the “Beyond” you have to be “Above and Beyond”…. If you look at the most successful people throughout history, most have something uniquely special about them that makes them stand out….

Sheilas Guide
While I’d love to have unlimited funds, piles of frequent flyer miles and telepathic powers, I have to confess that I’m “attending” these conference by watching their Twitter hashtags, and you can, too.

Related ala carte selections include

Logic + Emotion
I recently returned from Blogworld 2009, a mix of business, social media and social events which spanned nearly 4 days taking over much of Las Vegas. It was a flurry of activity and got my gears turning—here’s a few things that caught my attention:

Sit back. Enjoy your read. Nachos and drinks will be right over. Stay as long as you like. No tips required. Comments appreciated.

–ME “Liz” Strauss

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Building a Career: Combining a Personal Blog and a Company Job

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When we are talking about building your own career, there is nothing more personal to you than your own blog.  When you are working for a company, there are many different kinds of situations which may cause you to leave or to stay temporarily.  But as you are building your career in the “real world”, you can start picking up your working knowledge and build them into useful information around your own blog in the “virtual world”.

Start building a career around your own blog today!

4 Do’s and 4 Don’ts in your blog while working on your job

Do’s

  1. Ponder about what you have learned today.  Start taking down notes, and build useful information that people will love to read about.
  2. Be an expert in your own topic.  This is your time when you can show off what you have learned.  Even though you may make mistakes at your own job, this is the time when you can learn from your mistakes and blog them.
  3. Start building your community and help people to build theirs by contributing your efforts.  Help others when you are approached if it doesn’t take you much in your time and money.  Be real and treat this like a hobby.
  4. It’s good to leverage on useful software and other people’s services.  You have a job, so start investing time and money in yourself to build a good portfolio!

Don’ts

  1. Don’t be influenced too much by all the hype about making money online. It can cause you to have information-overload syndrome  Good to listen, but just carry on building your blog.
  2. Don’t be fake.  If you are just not that kind of person, don’t do it!  If you are not the kind who will want to excel in your job, you probably won’t create a great blog anyway.  Very soon, your blog may just fade away.
  3. Don’t expect immediate results.  Blogging is just for building personal brand awareness.  If people like what you are blogging about, you will get your audience for sure.  It may take a while for the traffic to be aware of you.  Hence, start blogging if you have the patience to build it one post at a time.

Linking social media back to your blog

There are tons of networking opportunities in the social media through the exposure of Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn.  Social media brings the world even closer now that we are able to communicate and do business together in two different worlds of ours.

As you are communicating more and more in the social media, people will tend to find your blog if they have connected with you socially via an exchange of messages.  The blog can offer assurance to visitors about your worth in that industry you are in.  

Today, there are a lot of attractive blogging themes that we can leverage on, both free and paid versions.  All we need to do, is to populate our social media profile in our own blog accordingly, and to start blogging!

What may happen when you continue to do this?

  1. You may be able to make some money out of it through the huge audience that you may have created.  There are more and more people who seem to be able to work full time on their blogs just because of what they have shared.
  2. Or, you have actually done yourself a very big favor in your career path because this may lead you into a job opportunity or even a business opportunity!
  3. Or if you have gotten far enough in your blog and your industry, there are tons of businesses out there who are looking for bloggers who are either influential in their blogs, or are experienced in the social media.

Is this for real?

Seriously speaking, it is not easy.  The whole journey can be really tough and unexpected.  As for myself, I am actually perform a full time job e-marketing while I am blogging about what I have learned from my job experience.  In fact, I got my job because I used my blog as my resume!

My job is helping me to learn a lot more about the Internet, making my exposure even far greater than I have thought I would achieve on my own.  And with that experience, I actually “document” them down in a meaningful way in my blogs, and allowing my visitors to enjoy what I have learned so far.

Even if I am not going to be able to make a full time job out of blogging, I still get to know more and more fantastic people (such as Liz Strauss here!) through my online journey.  I really thank God for that.

The whole blogging experience is really a fruitful one for me, and I will continue and do even more than what I am doing today!

My question to all of you: What career values or opportunities have your blog brought you today?  Do share with us, I will love to hear about it  too!

This post was written by Charles. He has been an Internet reviewer since June 2007.  He pours his passion for Internet marketing and Internet branding into his Twitter account actively at @charleslau.

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