Jane Boyd is a Partner in GeniusShared. She is also the CEO of 45 Conversations Media & Education Ltd, a Canadian education and training company based just outside of Vancouver Canada. She works with educators, business, community and government in the areas of early learning, work-life, community development and employee engagement.
Jane Boyd is a Partner in GeniusShared. She is also the CEO of 45 Conversations Media & Education Ltd, a Canadian education and training company based just outside of Vancouver Canada. She works with educators, business, community and government in the areas of early learning, work-life, community development and employee engagement.
Two years ago yesterday I was heading to the airport to pickup Liz Strauss here in Vancouver. During her week long visit, we conspired, we planned and we pushed through a ton of things to build the foundation for what now exists between us — and for what we want to build through GeniusShared over the long haul.
Today? Well — today we are in the midst of reviewing the galley proofs for her new book – Anything You Put Your Mind To, which is set to publish September 21, 2016 through GeniusShared Press. And we are getting ready to roll out several other initiatives too.
When you’re an entrepreneur, speed matters — but so does taking your time. And when you’re used to moving at the speed of light — well it can be tough to slow down. And to build carefully. But — it matters — because when you slow down for the right reasons, with the proper care and commitment and with the best people — it can make a difference. And in the end — that can be your difference — personally and professionally.
I balance my need for speed with also slowing down every single day — and I tell you this — never, ever — EVER — underestimate the good that can come from putting the time, effort and energy into building the right relationships. Relationships that are based on truth, trust, vision and connection — because — when you get that part right you build foundation — which means everything else comes so much easier and faster.
Sometimes you need to slow down in order to speed up.
Jane Boyd is a Partner in GeniusShared. She is also the CEO of 45 Conversations Media & Education Ltd, a Canadian education and training company based just outside of Vancouver Canada. She works with educators, business, community and government in the areas of early learning, work-life, community development and employee engagement.
Sunrises & SilenceIf you have been online for a while you may recall when Liz shared early morning lake view sunrise pictures with the world on social media. For more days than I can count, my Vancouver day started with a Chicago lake sunrise. Sometimes there was a short chat on Twitter with Liz too. Appreciating Liz’s sunrises somehow made things right in my world. And by watching the way she interacted with others, I learned a great deal about building community in the online world.
And then one day there were no more Chicago sunrise pictures. No lake. And no Liz. Just a suddenly silent social stream. For days. Weeks. And eventually months. The sun may have still been rising — but it certainly wasn’t rising in quite the same way anymore.
In the case of Liz — after many missed sunrises — I decided to act. For me – anything less just would not have felt right. So I took the old fashioned approach. I wrote Liz a letter and sent it in the mail. That’s right — I headed down to the post office and put something in the mailbox. That letter reached Liz at a time when social was no longer part of her world. In fact, it reached her as she was quietly beginning Cancer treatment. It was my way of showing up for her. And she felt it.
“What did it feel like to suddenly step back from the online space?” I asked Liz as we were texting back and forth a few weeks ago. It was late in the evening, two years post her final Cancer treatment. I was in a hammock out on my back deck. Liz was in her condo — overlooking the lake of sunrises.
“I was thinking about that today.” she texted back, “I guess it was nothing like I imagined. I got so very sick so very fast. I had to give up my whole online life and parts of what had defined me all my life. At first I was too sick to care.”
As I read her words, I began thinking about that time too. Lots of people had noticed she was suddenly missing from the social space. And a great many were concerned. There was a flurry of backchannel conversations — to say the least.
“Too sick to care.” — those words stood out the most to me as I read through Liz’s reply. I knew Liz had been sick…but imagining her not caring told me a whole lot more than I had ever really understood. As long as I have know Liz, she has always cared. Not having the energy to care told me just how sick she must have been.
Liz went on to to tell me about how the online community began coming back to her mind as she slowly regained her strength after her treatment.
“It started as moments. I’d dream about someone offering me the support and friendship I’d known before I got sick. Once I even wrote a dear friend an email about how a dream of his friendship gave me hope. But mostly such moments were fleeting.” she wrote. “Twitter didn’t stay part of my life very long. And you’d be surprised how many people I knew who didn’t notice I was gone.”
I was surprised by that. Everyone I knew had noticed that Liz was gone — but I guess the online world is a pretty big place. I told her about someone once telling me how they were frustrated that she had not shared more online about her illness. This person had felt strongly that many would have done more — if they had known more.
“Sometimes in life and in business you have to be selfish, knowing that you’ll lose something in that act, but also knowing there’s not enough energy to do otherwise.” Liz wrote. “I couldn’t eat because my mouth and throat were covered with sores. I had NO voice — could not be heard even if I was calling for help. Typing was out of the question. I guess I hoped for compassion knowing I could do nothing else.”
Liz went on to explain.
“I’ve always been a person who prefers to interact with people one-to-one and I was a paid writer over a decade before there was an Internet. I think that is why I took so well to interacting online — because people knew I was really talking to one person at a time. To my surprise online they were talking back.”
“My experience is that when we’re young we try to fit in — in the family, the neighborhood, at school, and as we grow up our universe gets larger so it becomes easier to find the folks with whom we fit. The beauty of the Internet is that it is the ultimate universe. You can find folks like you there for sure.”
“But relationships need care and nurturing and sometimes that’s easier to do when we’re in the same room and engaging all of our senses.”
Liz said that when she traveled for business, she learned (and still believes very strongly) that you had to show up in person or you invite room for doubt. “A sort of we versus them thinking creeps in.” Liz continued texting.“Falling offline to be sick brought some of that. And the relationships that remain the strongest are those in which people didn’t just expect me to show up without showing up themselves.”
In Liz’s case, many of the people who chose to show up were the very same people who later worked together to bring the first GeniusShared retreat to life last year in Chicago. And those same people are the ones that we now consider to be core members of the GeniusShared community. They continue to show up in ways that never cease to amaze us.
There are so many ways to show up for others. Social provides endless opportunities to reach out, to connect and to build relationships. In many ways, virtually anything is possible — including watching the sun rise over a lake in Chicago — all the way from Vancouver.
But — it’s about so much more than that too. Showing up is very much about the choice you make when people who matter to you suddenly fall offline. It’s all about what you do next. So listen to your inner voice – it knows exactly what you need to do.
People are funny — many don’t know what to do when someone disappears from the online space. When a sudden social silence sets in, it can be a worry. Especially when that silence comes from someone you have been building an online relationship with. In many ways, it’s as if the internet is still trying to figure out the cultural norm for moments such as this.
Every situation is different. Over the years I have seen many people fall offline – for days, weeks and even more. I have seen people come and go from the social space. Every time silence emerges I have consciously made a choice about how I responded. From these experiences I can say that my greatest learning has been this —
You must always listen to your inner voice — not to what other voices are saying. Quite simply — you do what YOU think is right. And if your gut is telling you to reach out — then you do it. Without hesitation or question. You ignore the rest of the noise that surrounds you.
To me, it’s the difference between stopping to offer help at the scene of an accident vs. rubber necking as you drive by ever so slowly. If you choose to stop and help — you are making a clear choice to be there. To show up fully.
And believe me — acting can change everything in your world — and in the world of the person you choose to show up for too.
Jane Boyd is a Partner in GeniusShared. She is also the CEO of 45 Conversations Media & Education Ltd, a Canadian education and training company based just outside of Vancouver Canada. She works with educators, business, community and government in the areas of early learning, work-life, community development and employee engagement.
What if you are in the right business but in the wrong location??
Two years ago, I took an early retirement package from Prudential and looked around for a new career opportunity. I had been working for 30 years and had loved it. I had moved around a fair amount, been given the opportunity to be the Chief Marketing Officer in both Europe and South America and had spent the prior four years, based in Newark, New Jersey, in charge of International Field Training.
When I left Prudential, I was interested in finding a company that could utilize my marketing expertise and help me continue to develop my skills. I soon found Chief Outsiders, a company that specializes in providing part-time and fractional CMO services to mid-size companies and I got to work.
It was an entirely different experience, working with a small start-up, developing my own clients and investing my own money. I loved it, except that I didn’t want to live in New Jersey the rest of my life. I had nothing against the people and the opportunities there but the weather, the taxes and the congestion made me long for another location.
What to do?
I remembered a letter someone once wrote to Ann Landers. I know that dates me but the gist of the letter was a woman, asking if it was worth it to go back to college and complete her degree. She shared with Ann that it would mean less time for her family, her housework and her friends. It would take three or so years to complete. Would it be worth it?
Ann responded by writing two letters, dated three years in the future. In one, the woman was three years older and asking the same questions. Should she go back to school? Would it be worth it?
In the other, the woman wrote that the last three years had been tough, she had lost sleep and had to ask her husband and family for more support. But she had completed her degree and she was so happy. Her kids were so proud. I think it was an analogy to my situation. I knew it would be harder to start in a new location, to begin again.
After much reflection on this, I decided to go for it, to start-over, in a location of my choice, a location that I wanted to remain in for many years to come. After looking at a couple of places, my husband and I decided on the Charleston, South Carolina area. But I knew no one. I had no contacts, no business possibilities. Many of you have probably been in this situation or contemplated it so I would like to share some tips.
These are my five best ones:
Has it all been successful? Was it worth it? These are two different questions. Right now, success is not guaranteed. This is a work in progress. I am meeting people and working hard. But there are no results yet. Was it worth it? My husband and I love our new community in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina, The weather has been great. The people are special.
I took a risk. Sometimes we are not in the position to take these kinds of risks. Sometimes we have to stay where we are, we donÂt have the option or money to change locations. However, if you do find yourself in the right business, but the wrong location, I urge you to at least examine the possibilities. Even if you cannot afford to move right away, once you decide on the plan, you can do many of the things mentioned above to prepare you for the future. And if you choose Charleston and need some help, reach out to me.
Thank you, Barbara!
It’s been such a pleasure welcoming you to the Lowcountry!
Rosemary
You’ve heard of The Secret, the system that applies the laws of attraction to fulfill your wildest dreams?
Basically, you write down or make a tangible representation of your goals and then let your subconscious mind do the work of drawing those things into your life.
I do think there is magic in documenting your dreams, but I have a slight twist on The Secret that I’d like to share.
Make a list of all the wonderful things you’d love to happen for your blog. For example:
Start doing all of those things for bloggers you admire. Sincerely get out there and comment, share, ask them to guest post for you. Ask them to do a video interview on your blog. Write a big list of bloggers you feel need more attention. Subscribe to new blogs.
Then watch what happens.
