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Hierarchy of Influence: Matching Your Actions to Expected Reactions

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Redux: I wrote this post in Feb. 2011. Based on recent conversation, it seems even more relevant now and so I choose to pick it up, add some clarity and publish a newer version this week.

Not Every Attempt Gets the Expected Outcome

cooltext443794242_influence

When our son was barely five years old, he was a shy child who lived by his own timetable. He had his own ways of doing things. If you wanted his attention, your best bet was to make eye contact and simply explain what you what you had to say.

It was during that year, that his grandparents came to visit us in Austin. Together as a family, we planned several outings to enjoy the city and our favorite restaurants. One evening, the whole group was getting ready to go dinner and our son was still playing — not getting ready. This circumstance stressed out three of four adults in his company. Suddenly one, then two, then all three of them were using loud firm voices to tell a child, half their size, to “Get upstairs to change in to clean clothes, immediately!!”

The child froze like a deer in the headlights.

The mom in me responded with like to like. In firm and loud voice, I said, “Who are you to gang up on a little kid like that? Get away from here!”

The three adults moved into the kitchen and spoke quietly to each other.
I took the little boy by the hand. “I said let’s go upstairs and find what you’ll wear to dinner.”

When we came downstairs ready to go to dinner, I walked into the kitchen and apologized for my outburst. In return I got three calm apologies that also said I was right to intervene on the child’s behalf.

Not every attempt at influence gets the outcome we’re going for.

Which Actions Achieve the Outcomes You Seek?

If we can agree that influence is some word or deed that changes behavior. Then plenty of influence occurred in the story I just related. I suspect that had I been privy to the whole scene in the kitchen I would have found that that single story included examples of confrontation, persuasion, conversion, participation, and collaboration. The only thing missing in this family scene would be true antagonism. Six different approaches to influence which lead to entirely different outcomes.

I’ve been reading about, thinking about, and talking to people about influence for months, because influence and trust are integral understanding to loyalty relationships. Let’s take a look at six of the usual forms of influence and the outcomes that result from them.

  1. Antagonism – provokes thought Your values are everything I believe is wrong with the world. You can’t stomach anything that I stand for. We are not competitors. We are enemies at war. Your words and actions might provoke thoughts and deeds, but what I’m thinking is how wrong you are, how to thwart you, or if I have no power, how to hide my true thoughts and feelings. An order from an enemy can influence a behavior but won’t change my thinking.
  2. Confrontation – causes a reaction You say it’s black. I know it’s white. I respond in some way — I fight back. I run away. I consciously ignore you. My response will probably change based who is more powerful. You might overpower me. I might stop responding, but it’s unlikely that you will actually change my thinking. Confrontation leads people to build a defense, to strengthen their own arguments.
  3. Persuasion – changes thinking You look at me and think about how what you want might benefit me. Rather than telling me, you show me how easy, fast, or meaningful it is go along with you. You’ve changed my about what you’re doing. I now see your actions from a new point of view.
  4. Conversion – moves to an action Your invitation to action is so convincing and beneficial to my own goals that I do what you ask. You’ve influenced my behavior to meet your goal. You have won my trust and commitment to an action. It’s not certain I’ll stay converted.
  5. Participation – attracts heroes, ideas, and sharing You reach out with conversation. We find that we are intrigued by the same ideas, believe in the same values, and share the same goals. Your investment in the relationship builds my trust and return investment. You invite me to join you in something you’re building. My limited participation raises my investment, gives me a feeling of partial ownership, and moves me to talk about you, your goals, and what we’re doing together.
  6. Collaboration – builds loyalty relationships We develop a working relationship in which you rely on my viewpoint. We share ideas and align our goals to build something together that we can’t build alone. You believe in my value to your project. I believe in the value of what you’re building. You have gained my loyalty and commitment. I feel a partnership that leads me to protect and evangelize the joint venture. I bring my friends to help.
Strauss_Hierarchy_of_Influence
Strauss Hierarchy of Influence

Not every campaign or customer situation will need to move to collaboration. But understanding each level will help us manage expectations allowing us to move naturally and predictably from confrontation to persuasion, so that we don’t expect the loyalty of collaboration from a momentary conversion.

Could be useful when looking to connect with that special valentine too.

How might you use the hierarchy to change the way you manage your business, your event, your community, and your new business initiatives?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

What IS Most Crucial to Influence? What Moves People to Action?

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Redux: I wrote this post in Dec. 2010. Based on recent conversation, it seems even more relevant now and so I choose to pick it up, add some clarity and publish a newer version this week.

The Outcomes We Achieve

cooltext443794242_influence

Every person has influence. What what we say, and how we act has an effect on how others think, feel, and behave. As a writer, an observer, and manager, I’ve watched and studied how people respond to what we do, what we say, and what they see.

As every parent and pet owner knows, sometimes the outcome we’re going for — a change in belief or behavior — isn’t the outcome we achieve. Our intent, our feelings toward an audience are only one side of the equation. How that audience interprets our words and deeds determines the change in belief or behavior that might result.

Our influence is highly affected by context.

  • The world view of the people we might influence. An individual’s emotional associations and beliefs can filter how people interpret our intentions, our words, and actions. A person who believes all learning must be their own experience will ignore a warning to avoid a dangerous part of town. A person who has only had bad experiences with people from our “group” may fight against any message we offer.
  • The value those people put on their relationship with us. Filters such as the halo effect and other cognitive biases, such as wishful thinking, can change how our message is processes and received.

We don’t control how other people think, what they feel, or how they interpret what they hear and see.

Though we may carefully consider and choose the most generous way to communicate and interact within those those contexts, the audience will choose their interpretation of that interaction. The same authentic, highly influential, collaborative message to one audience will be a disingenuous, controversial, alienating rebuff to another audience. We see that all of the time in the world of politics.

The most crucial element of influence is understanding what the audience already knows and already believes. If we want to influence people, to move them to an important action, to change their core beliefs, we need to know the audience, listen to their world view, champion their cause, and honor their reality.

Do likes, follows, impressions, site visits, retweets and the similar quick expressions of attention really qualify as actions. Have they influenced anything?

Don’t fool yourself by the game of numbers — don’t start thinking that 1 in X000 of those likes, follows, impressions, site visits, retweets and the similar quick expressions of attention will buy!!

The kind of influence that gets me to buy a product isn’t a result of a frivolous passing gesture on the Internet. Talk to the people who buy your products and ask …. what moved them to action? what got them to believe?

I know it’s a novel idea, but the people you want to influence know what will get and keep their attention and most of us would be relieved if you’d just ask.

How do you decide what will move people to action?

Be irresistible … and ask them.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

How the Football Captain and the Guitarist Sold Out the Stadium!

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It Starts with Someone Who Cares about the Audience

cooltext443809437_relationships

When I’m asked to do an off-site, I sit down the with event planner to discuss what the people attending might want or need to know. Hands down the most requested topic is how can they use social media to get people talking about the brand and their products?

It’s all about stories.
We’ve been hearing and telling stories all of our lives.
It shouldn’t be that hard.

5 Critical Steps to Spreading an Irresistible Social Media Story

If you remember back to university, you know the power of friends sharing stories. Good news, bad news, rumors and truths can fly through a school fast enough to make any news network jealous.

Here are the five critical steps to making that happen for you in the social business community.

  1. Build your network before you need it. It all starts with community. No matter how irresistible our message, we’ll have trouble sharing it without relationships. Building a network is more natural and easy, if we do before we need them to do something for us.
  2. Be known for one thing. Sure you can do many things, but many things are hard to remember. One thing stands out and is easily shareable. To go back to the college analogy, if I say he’s the captain of the football team or she’s plays lead guitar in the coolest rock band, you already know that other kids into sports they want to connect with him and other kids into rock want to connect with her.

    The same works now … If you are known for one thing, that one thing you are jumps to my mind when I meet someone who might need that one thing. If you’re a freelance blog writer, every time I meet someone with a growing blog, I’ll mention your name. If you’re one of a million writers who writes for blogs, magazines, websites, menus, and whatever. I’m less likely to remember exactly what you do and far less likely to share your name. When you’re one thing everyone knows what they can count on you to do and how you connect to their universe.

  3. Make folks feel proud, important, part of something bigger than then are alone when they do. Talking in the language of the people you want to help you. Make the message about them, not about you. The football captain who frames his message “Are you ready to rock the game tonight?” gets a better response than the one who says “Come to our game tonight. Show your spirit!”

    The savvy football captain says, “The team goes all out when you’re there! You rock the stands. We’ll rock the field!! RockTheGame!!”

    Let’s stay with the savvy football captain … he shows Booster Club how it’s in their interest to donate $500 worth of iTunes and permission for a concert by pointing out that they’re all on a quest to get folks to the big game. Then, he contacts the girl lead guitarist and persuades her band that a sell-out game would make a great after-concert venue.

  4. Make it easy, fun, and meaningful to share it. The Booster Club enlists the campus TV station to announce a contest for the entire school. Every ticket sold to the big game will be entered into a raffle for that $500 iTunes gift card to keep rocking.
  5. Reward and celebrate the people who do. When the game beats attendance records concert by the coolest rock band — after the game in the school quad to rock the school spirit!

We all value our friends’ attention.
We all value the time we spend with them.
We all value it when they engage with us and listen to what we’re saying.
It’s a natural next step to make it a value for them to invest in us too.

All we have to do to get them to share our story is to make them proud to be part of it.

How are you making your friends, colleagues, customers, and clients part of what you’re trying to do?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

Influence: Do You Know the Value of a Single Dissenting Voice?

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Group Influence Is Power

cooltext443794242_influence

It used to happen all of the time in publishing. I’d set up one-to-one meetings with key individuals to discuss product prototypes. They’d offer their candid feedback. I’d incorporate what I’d learned into the next iteration of the prototype and do it again, until I was certain I had all of their concerns ironed out and a strong version of the proposed product ready for review.

At the review meeting, the same people would gather to discuss the “final” version of the prototype. I’d begin by stating the history of how the prototype was developed, who had participated, and what sorts of input had been gathered. We’d walk through the features and benefits of the product and open the floor to discussion.

The guy with the most powerful voice would say something like, “I’m not sure that cover works for me,” though he’d loved the cover the last six times he’d seen it. The person next to him would tilt her head and say “It’s always bothered me, too.” And suddenly, the entire group was agreeing that the cover — which each of them had discussed and signed off on individually — was a disaster.

What happened?

Influence: Do You Know the Value of a Single Dissenting Voice?

Anyone who’s managed a focus group knows that they’re serious business and even with the most practiced moderator, the group can easily go off track – to offer up information that reflects something in the group dynamic rather than a true representation of how each individual thinks about a given question.

What happened in the meeting I described that made every person see the cover differently? How had the power of the group influenced their thinking? Did the individuals believe what they were saying? Had they forgotten their original opinion? Were not invested before or had they changed their minds?

What makes us not see what we see and know what we know when we’re alone become something different when we’re together?

I learned a little about this sort of influence a few years ago … from a psychologist who taught at Loyola University. “In the 1950s, Dr. Solomon Asch of Swarthmore College asked groups of students to participate in a “vision test.” All but one in each group were confederates in the experiment (the confederates knew what was going on). Asch was testing how likely individuals are to conform with a group opinion even when the group is obviously wrong.

The method of the Asch test:

  • The participants were all seated in a classroom.
  • The group — one real participant and the confederates — were asked questions about the lines on two cards. Possible question might include:
    • How long is line A?
    • How does the length of line A compare to the length of [everyday object]?
    • Which line is longer than line A?
    • Which line is the same length as line A?
  • The group announced their answers aloud.
  • The confederates were provided answers, always answered before the study participant, and always gave the same answer as the other confederates.
  • Confederates began by answering a few questions correctly. Later they offered unanimous incorrect answers.

The experiment tested number of confederates necessary to induce conformity. They studied the influence of voice to fifteen.
The experiment varied the degree unanimity of the confederates.

The control group, the hypothesis, and the results:

In a control group, designed without pressure to conform, only one subject out of 35 gave an incorrect answer.

Solomon Asch had hypothesized that the majority of people would not conform to something obviously wrong; however, when surrounded by individuals all voicing an incorrect answer, participants provided incorrect responses on a high proportion of the questions (32%). Seventy-five percent of the participants gave an incorrect answer to at least one question. — Wikipedia

The results indicated that …

  • One confederate offering a wrong response has virtually no influence — people will give their own answer.
  • Two confederates have only a small influence.
  • Three or more confederates make the tendency to conform relatively stable.

Three or more people who see things differently comprise a powerful influence toward conforming.
Yet …

If out of a group, even only one confederate voices a different opinion, participants are far more likely to resist the urge to conform.

This finding illuminates the power that even a small dissenting minority can have. Interestingly, this finding holds whether or not the dissenting confederate gives the correct answer. As long as the dissenting confederate gives an answer that is different from the majority, participants are more likely to give the correct answer. — Wikipedia

What Does this All Mean?

Unconsciously we lean toward silence if our opinion differs from the accepted group belief. Silence, often interrupted as agreement, can be simply a lack of contribution. How can we manage against losing the honest voices that choose not to speak?

Often “teams players” are defined as like-minded thinkers — possibly because such a group is easier to manage. Yet leadership depends on free flowing solid information. If we define “team players” as having deep connection in maturity and values, we can reach for a range of world views and ways of thinking — inside the box, outside the box, bottom up, top down, intuitive, data driven, idealistic, realistic, risk taking and risk averse thinkers.

Valuing a dissenting voice can raise the participation of an entire team. Though the conversation might become more complicated, the result will be a stronger, more honest exchange of higher quality thinking. When differing points of view are respected trust grows naturally.

That single dissenting voice gives the entire group permission to see what they see and know what they know — the power of honesty.

Have you experienced the value of a single dissenting voice? Have you had to be one?

Be irresistible.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

Hierarchy of Influence: What Achieves the Results You Need?

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Six Ways to Influence and Their Outcomes

cooltext443794242_influence

When our son was barely five years old, he was a shy child who lived by his own timetable. He had his own ways of doing things. If you wanted his attention, your best bet was to make eye contact and simply explain what you what you had to say.

It was during that year, that his grandparents came to visit us in Austin. Together as a family, we planned several outings to enjoy the city and our favorite restaurants. One evening, the whole group was getting ready to go dinner and our son was still playing — not getting ready. This circumstance stressed out three of four adults in his company. Suddenly one, then two, then all three of them were using loud firm voices to tell a child, half their size, to “Get upstairs to change in to clean clothes, immediately!!”

The child froze like a deer in the headlights.

The mom in me responded with like to like. In firm and loud voice, I said, “Who are you to gang up on a little kid like that? Get away from here!”

The three adults moved into the kitchen and spoke quietly to each other.
I took the little boy by the hand. “I said let’s go upstairs and find what you’ll wear to dinner.”

When we came downstairs ready to go to dinner, I walked into the kitchen and apologized for my outburst. In return I got three calm apologies that also said I was right to intervene on the child’s behalf.

Not every attempt at influence gets the outcome we’re going for.

Which Actions Achieve the Outcomes You Seek?

If we can agree that influence is some word or deed that changes behavior. Then plenty of influence occurred in the story I just related. I suspect that had I been privy to the whole scene in the kitchen I would have found that that single story included examples of confrontation, persuasion, conversion, participation, and collaboration. The only thing missing in this family scene would be true antagonism. Six different approaches to influence which lead to entirely different outcomes.

I’ve been reading about, thinking about, and talking to people about influence for months, because influence and trust are integral understanding to loyalty relationships. Let’s take a look at six of the usual forms of influence and the outcomes that result from them.

  1. Antagonism – provokes thought Your values are everything I believe is wrong with the world. You can’t stomach anything that I stand for. We are not competitors. We are enemies at war. Your words and actions might provoke thoughts and deeds, but what I’m thinking is how wrong you are, how to thwart you, or if I have no power, how to hide my true thoughts and feelings. An order from an enemy can influence a behavior but won’t change my thinking.
  2. Confrontation – causes a reaction You say it’s black. I know it’s white. I respond in some way — I fight back. I run away. I consciously ignore you. My response will probably change based who is more powerful. You might overpower me. I might stop responding, but it’s unlikely that you will actually change my thinking. Confrontation leads people to build a defense, to strength their own arguments.
  3. Persuasion – changes thinking You look at me and think about how what you want might benefit me. Rather than telling me, you show me how easy, fast, or meaningful it is go along with you. You’ve changed my about what you’re doing. I now see your actions from a new point of view.
  4. Conversion – moves to an action Your invitation to action is so convincing and beneficial to my own goals that I do what you ask. You’ve influenced my behavior to meet your goal. You have won my trust and commitment to an action. It’s not certain I’ll stay converted.
  5. Participation – attracts heroes, ideas, and sharing You reach out with conversation. We find that we are intrigued by the same ideas, believe in the same values, and share the same goals. Your investment in the relationship builds my trust and return investment. You invite me to join you in something you’re building. My limited participation raises my investment, gives me a feeling of partial ownership, and moves me to talk about you, your goals, and what we’re doing together.
  6. Collaboration – builds loyalty relationships We develop a working relationship in which you rely on my viewpoint. We share ideas and align our goals to build something together that we can’t build alone. You believe in my value to your project. I believe in the value of what you’re building. You have gained my loyalty and commitment. I feel a partnership that leads me to protect and evangelize the joint venture. I bring my friends to help.
Strauss_Hierarchy_of_Influence
Strauss Hierarchy of Influence

Not every campaign or customer situation will need to move to collaboration. But understanding each level will help us manage expectations allowing us to move naturally and predictably from confrontation to persuasion, so that we don’t expect the loyalty of collaboration from a momentary conversion.

Could be useful when looking to connect with that special valentine too.

How might you use the hierarchy to change the way you manage your business, your brand, your community, and your new business initiatives?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

28 Telling Responses to 27 Things About Working in Social Media

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cooltext443794242_influence

In traditional print, writer and reader have static conversation, a disconnected relationship. The writer set forth ideas; then later in another context, the reader reads and considers the ideas. In social media, the conversation is often immediate, sometimes fleeting. People on our blogs or on Twitter read what we write, think about (or not), and add their response, taking the original thought to new places.

The beauty of this dynamic social interchange is that it the original thoughts can be developed, become deeper and broader through community participation.

This week I published a thought piece called 27 Things to Know Before You Work in Social Media, an audience, thoughtful, intelligent, experienced readers — you — contributed thoughts and taking the original to a higher level. Those thoughts deserve a discussion of their own.

Social Media for Business Is Still Business

Though the ROI isn’t always initially apparent, it’s naive to assume that it’s a no return endeavor. Just as a trade show, sales call, or lunch with client can appear to be something else, the relationships forged through social networks serve customers, solve problems, and develop new business. They also require strategy, experience, expertise, execution and customer care — internal and external, online and offline.

… the uncertainty of it all–it’s sometimes the hardest part of trying to convince people of the value when things are changing at the speed of light. …
— Successful-Blog who is @MikeCassidyAZ on Twitter.

I would add that there is nothing virtual about social media. It is in fact grounded in real business application and acumen. Understanding what you are trying to achieve is always the first step. Keep that in mind, be transparent, true and efficient and the rest will follow.
The other truth is to set expectations and practices according to how well you are resourced. If you are committing yourself to an online profile, ensure you have the resources to maintain, manage and effectively meet the expectations you are creating.
— Alasdair Munn who is @ajmunn on Twitter.

My biggest issue is convincing people it’s worth it. There is ROI just like any other form of customer satisfaction has ROI- not always direct.

Another issue is that people think that because they don’t ‘get’ social media that it’s going to disappear.
— @brashley on Twitter.

There is such frustration when walking into a room of “traditional” business professionals and advocating for “social” media…and such potential too. It’s tricky using the potential as enough motivation to battle the frustration. …
— Shayna Walker who is @weddlady on Twitter.

Managing Vocabulary and Expectations.

As we bring this all together, we have the disadvantage of speaking the same language — our conversations rife with hidden assumptions that set conflicting expectations. We straddle two cultures with two similar, but not equivalent vocabularies.

As time passes, we gain experience, our words get clearer and closer. Two years ago, when we said “community” offline, people thought “church” or “Omaha, Nebraska.” Aligning our vocabulary and our expectations can solve problems, decrease conflict, and lower negative perceptions.

I agree with the desire to lose the Social Media title. I tend to look at the process with a wider lens. It’s just part of the digital puzzle that includes optimizing your web site, paid search, integration with non web properties, location and mobile. …
— Gordon Phillips who is @gophillips on Twitter.

One of the things I ponder recently is how to describe what I do when so using the phrase “social media marketing” is considered by people within the social media and marketing to be inaccurate and yet people from outside (current and potential clients) use that phrase to describe what they want help with.

The fast pace of e digital world and the constant arrivals of new tools and changes in the landscape make it a compelling and exciting place to work. But bridging the gap can be confusing and knowing what words to use to convey has me tied up in knots at times.
— Allen Mireles who is @AllenMireles on Twitter.

I think people need to be careful about false expectations. Also, if you’re not flexible by nature, this might not be the right area of work. Being able to roll with the punches and adjust at a moment’s notice are definite temperament requirements.
— Keri Jo Raz who is @KeriJoRaz on Twitter.

Personally investing and detaching really hit home, and Nos. 17 and 19, too. We are in uncharted waters here and it’s nice to know we are all experiencing the frustrations and rewards together.
— Susan Young who is @sueyoungmedia on Twitter.

That no matter how many times you explain it, social media is not free.
— Mike Cassidy who is @MikeCassidyAZ on Twitter.

The Opportunity Is What the Tools Can Do

Explaining that the tools aren’t the end game is the first goal and problem. Simply picking up the tools doesn’t get us anywhere, any more than routing through a huge red chest of workman’s tools. The tool chest isn’t the end game, the opportunity is what a craftsman can do with the tools. Not everyone is ready to see the house that a gifted team might build, but those that do have the advantage.

28. Just because you use the tools personally doesn’t mean you have a grasp on how to leverage them for a business.

29. Unless you start at a strong brand or within a strong community it takes more offline work than online work to be great at your job. If you don’t have offline skills then don’t bother applying to do online work.

30. You will need to engage, interact and drive your businesses community to action; not the “social media” people you follow and talk to all day. There is a difference.

31. That your awesome/best idea in the world will get less traction than you thought.
— Chris Theisen who is @cjtheisen on Twitter.

The unfortunate issue I see with [legitimate] social media experts and those who truly are knowledgeable in the field is that, like real estate, too many people are able to claim to be experts. How do you raise the bar so the many wannabees do not dilute the vocation?
— Susie Blackmon who is @SusieBlackmon on Twitter.

Learning, Evolving, and Adding Value Is the New Expertise

Learning, evolving and adding value with the speed of the Internet is the new expertise. Those who are able to capture, filter, translate, curate, package and deliver valuable resonating messages; those who connect people, content, and context matching urgency to situations will win the game. They will attract both loyal communities and easily enlist crowds of two-minute volunteers to pass on faster, smaller messages when they need them.

Social media sometimes feels like you’re in a partially lit tunnel going at lightspeed with things coming at you to catch, handle and pass on whilst also battling against a strange crosswind of resistance and misunderstanding. all the while, you’re commentating on yourself for the benefit of others…
— Serena who is @serenasnoad on Twitter.

… no matter how many hours you spend doing SM, you can never know everything about it. SM changes so rapidly and constantly that it is next to impossible to keep up with each new idea, blog, platform, service, etc. …
Nicole Ott who is @nicolelynnott on Twitter.

Learning what is meaningful and significant is more important than saying or following the meaningless and insignificant 🙂
—Jay Deragon who is @ConversCurrency on Twitter.

… I have had a few internships where I am the go-to person regarding the social media strategy. And I love that. Although many people may still be skeptics, I am embracing everything I can, and hopefully when I do go into the working-girl world I can bring something new and different to the table.
— Selena Larson who is @selenalarsonpr on Twitter.

I have two possible additions –

– that it takes about a year of listening, watching, absorbing and doing it before you really having any idea what it is you are doing

– that, at any given moment, the vast sea of ‘things needing attention’ or ‘things to work on next’ or ‘things I want to explore’ is so great, focus and traction can be the biggest challenges of all.
–Judi Young who is @ohyesshecan on Twitter.

Think Community Not Skillset

Social business is about the people, not the message. It’s a philosophy of business — way of thinking and seeing — that can’t be contained or fully realized in a single campaign or a single department. These new tools make the pace faster and easier. They also allow us to connect with more people. Our challenge is to fill those connections with meaning — to meet where our values align and use those connections to build better businesses together.

Social media is an interconnected, symbiotic organism comprised of flesh and blood people – people with hopes, goals, fears, dreams, and a need to be heard.

That’s too big of a job for just one person.
— Molly who is @mckra1g on Twitter.

Social Media is a community, not a commercial. Just as one wouldn’t show up to a party empty handed, you don’t show up online with your hand out. It’s permission-based – you have to earn respect among followers. The old adage remains true, ‘Seek first to understand, then to be understood.’ Listen, share, engage, then speak.
— Tami Belt who is @1bluecube on Twitter.

I really hope more people will “get” social media soon, as these 27 make it a very difficult job. I too tell my family something else and my friends from university seem to think I “play with facebook” for a living.
— @Simpli_B on Twitter.

I believe Social Media is a journey, not destination! And the more you’re open to the twists and turns, the more possibility and excitement there are. It’s just that when a majority of an organizations people don’t use SM, you have to then rethink who is SM for and how to reach those younger folks. And that requires energy back on their end “offline.”
— Elizabeth Doherty Thomas who is @MarriageKids on Twitter.

Social Media Is Community Amplified

Anyone in management, communications, or a business that serves people has experienced more than a few of these frustrations. Most of them are seated in the naturally occurring communication issues that humans have when we interact. Any interdepartmental team could make their own list that would be similar to this one. Any community would be easier to manage if it didn’t involve people.

I’m pretty sure that in order to comprehend this list and be able to comment means that I must work in the same environment. I do.

Social media is still so new and still in a state of constant evolution. People don’t understand it so they assume and believe misinformation as truth.

To understand the community, you need to live in the community. When you spend more time online than you do off, the lines get blurry. Those of us on the inside still understand and relate.
— Chris Eh Young who is @Chris_Eh_Young on Twitter.

… I confess that by the time I reached #7 I was thinking that most of these insights describe my career in public relations. the person who creates, buys, places an ad is easily understood. The behind-the-scene nuances of massaging a message and crisis management are often (deliberately) opaque.
— Karen Malone Wright who is @KarenMW on Twitter.

… Social media is all about relationships. … you have to be personally invested and detached at the same time. Social media is more than just a tweet or a Facebook post; it’s about building lasting relationships with people. For people that don’t fully understand social media, it can be a difficult concept to understand.

Yes social media is your job. Yes you sometimes seem more interested in your online friends than your offline ones. But the real reason for this is that if you are doing your job well, then you have built a relationship with these people that you can’t just turn off at the end of the day.
— Sean Clanton who is @parallelic on Twitter.

I might also add that sometimes being social 24-7 can feel very lonely since you have each foot in a different world, you technically belong to both and neither. Also, your online friends might lose any sense of personal loyalty and publicly bitch about your company as if they were a stranger to you.

You’re right though — it is totally worth it when you see things start to work well, when you can actually see lightbulbs go off in other peoples’ heads and they share good ideas that weren’t even on your radar. Social really can make everything we do as a business better and more meaningful and it’s nice to be someone working on that side of the equation.
— Shannon Paul who is @ShannonPaul on Twitter.

Where We’ve Been and Where We’re Going

Lead with relationships not the tools. If you wonder what that means listen more. When you hear a sentence with the words, social media, inside it. Replace “social media” with the word, telephone, and you’ll have idea where we’ve been and we’re going. The tools are what allow us to connect. It’s our minds and our hearts that get us to the core of the matter where we agree – where we can align our goals and work together on something we can’t build alone.

Like this blog post, we are building this social media culture together …

It was like you were reading my soul! Thanks for the reminder that I’m not the only one with these experiences and ups and downs.
— Vanessa Williams who is @williamsvanessa on Twitter.

Wow. Jumping on the bandwagon to agree with everyone else… just wanted to take the time to let you know lots of people are paying attention. My one response probably covers about 23 others that didn’t take the time to respond.
— Jason Terry who is @JasonTerry on Twitter.

Special thank you to these folks who contributed their support and encouragement. Danielle D. Ali ( @DanielleDAli ), Christina Rigby ( @@cjrigby1 ), LisaDJenkins ( @LisaDJenkins ), Dave Delaney and chris bartlett ( @followcb ).

Jay Baer and I are marking our calendars to meet next year at the same to see what’s changed.

I’m putting this in the time capsule and plan to look at it every year on this date, to see how the industry and its participants evolve.
— Jay Baer who is @JayBaer on Twitter.

Now it’s your turn … What will you do online or offline to continue and extend the conversation? Do you think we’ll still be saying the same things in a year?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

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