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How Do You Influence Yourself?

September 27, 2010 by Liz

Why I Start SOBCon with the Litany Against Fear

At SOBCon2010 this year, we had a top-notch agenda and a brilliant audience attending … and about 25 more people than before. The format was new one and the sponsors — intuit, Allstate, IZEA, and ReneNews were involved in the planning as never before. At SOBCon Colorado, we were facing an entirely new venue and most of the people attending were new to the event.

In both cases, we were set on delivering an irresistible experience that is SOBCon. Key and central to the central to the SOBCon experience is a high-trust environment. The more quickly we establish that, the more everyone would get from the entire experience. I thought about that long and hard. The question was …

How do we get an audience to let down their defenses when they’re in a room of strangers? How do we bring them into the room and let them know they don’t need a safety net? How do we establish that trust?

We do it many ways … Terry sings. I begin with the the Litany Against Fear.

Fear-Less and Influence Yourself First

In 1965, Frank Herbert wrote DUNE, the first in his acclaimed series of science fiction books. Early in the story the young, Paul Atredies was asked to hold his hand in box where he would feel excruciating nerve pain. If he removed his hand, he would die. He survived by reciting the Litany Against Fear.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain –Dune, Frank Herbert, (Wikipedia)

When Paul removes his hand from the box is whole, but he is without fear … Fear- Less.

Trust cannot exist in the same space as fear.

I use the litany for many reasons.

to offer the idea that trust is a choice.
to suggest that if we can’t trust ourselves, how can we think we will trust each other?

and most important to influence myself …

to set aside my own fear publicly and be ready to trust myself.

Influence is a powerful stuff. What if we influence ourselves first?

How do you influence yourself?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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What Is Trust?

October 20, 2009 by Liz

That Was the Question

Some of you will click away before you read this — for whatever reason — we can’t invest in every message offered us or every person who brings it. For those who stay, thank you.

About a week ago, I spent time with someone I’ve known since I was 7. By the time one day had turned well into the next, we had caught up our lives and were well into our thoughts. Our friendship has lasted a life-time and we share in both silence and conversation. Picture two introverts not concerned with sharing thoughts aloud … a no-filter conversation.

In that amazing context, she looked me in the eyes to ask, “What is trust?”

That question is still with me.

Trust Is the Conversation

About a week before I sat with my life-long friend, I watched world leaders discuss how to get the world turning properly after we’ve undone so many things. Each speaker brought a message and each listener could choose whether to trust what he or she said. Trust, candor, and truth were common themes.

Trust has become the conversation. We talk about it with family, friends, business partners, clients, and journalists … online and offline. Seems reasonable that world leaders might talk about it too.

We’re defining it, outlining it, and promoting it to each other, but the how to seems less than firmly drawn. As I watch and listen I become more aware of what moves me to trust and what undermines that.

What Trust Is Not

I’ve never been one to trust or distrust power — the power of print, the power of a microphone, the power of office, the power of your signature on my paycheck. I am surprised and sometimes frightened by those who are.

Trust is a relationship not an office. It’s not situational.
Power and position get an opportunity, the same opportunity as anyone, not a better one. Politicians might even get less.

Trust is not good deeds, good looks, or the right t-shirt. Context helps, but doesn’t guarantee it. If you come in a context I trust, I listen more easily. If some way you look like me or sound like me, I might offer trust more easily. Still the trappings don’t make the real thing. My decision to trust you does.

And trust isn’t unilateral or blind. One-way trust is a handing over of power. Blind trust goes against self-preservation.

What Is Trust?

Trust is a decision, a commitment, a pact and a bond that builds and connects. Trust is shared values. Trust empowers by the questions it removes.

Trust is brave and vulnerable. Trust is not sparing my feelings. Trust is the hard truth spoken gently.

Trust is knowing and believing, giving and receiving without hesitation. Trust is not wondering whether what I say is true, whether I will follow through, whether my thoughts and feelings will change when I’m talking to someone other. Trust is knowing you are safely invested and protected.

We can lose it before we have it or find where we least expect it. Trust can be given, but not invented, stolen, or demanded.

Trust is a delicate sculpture we build through relationship, communication, thoughts, and behaviors. Once it’s shattered we can’t glue it back together. The only replacement is remaking the sculpture. Like wellness, generosity, or kindness, we’re most reminded of its value when it’s gone.

In the end trust is knowing you are the same when I’m not there … Trust is keeping promises, even the unspoken promises. Not every trust relationship is that of two life-long friends who communicate with or without words. But imagine if that were so.

Trust is a risk, venture capital. It’s a gamble with a friend, a lover, or a business. Trust is us leading and leaning on each other when the outcome isn’t clear.

When I don’t ask, when I’m not present, when I don’t even know that your actions might have been different,

when the reality is consistently …

I bet on you and I won.

trust is.

What is trust … to you?

–ME “Liz” Strauss

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What Is a Social Community?

March 18, 2009 by Liz

(Updated in 2020)

The LANGUAGE of SOCIAL MEDIA

Words have a deep effect on how we interpret and interact with the world. The words we use and how we define them reveal our interests, concerns, and values. This series explores the words of social media.

Social Community

From families to friendships, we share experiences and interactions with groups. Our attachments to those groups strong or weak weave the fabric of association and community. A community is a social structure that shares personal values, cultural values, business goals, attitudes, or a world view. What binds it is a community culture of social rules and group dynamics that identify members.

An online community isn’t built or befriended, it’s connected by offering and accepting. Community is affinity, identity, and kinship that make room for ideas, thoughts, and solutions. Wherever a community gathers, we aspire and inspire each other intentionally . . . And our words shine with authenticity. Many social networking sites also offer platforms for discussion of topics that a community or network finds mutually interesting or beneficial.

In the most concise terms, an online social community is a group of like-minded individuals connected by interactions.

@smallaxe: “Community is the family you get to choose”
@KohliConsulting: “We are community.”
@sherrymain “This* is. We are. The ability to ask “what is community” and get a response from a stranger quickly!”
@ettarose “community is the force of people sharing, good or bad”
@peace_: “Community is anywhere where a group of people learn from, interact & care for each other”
@elenakostovska “respect and belonging”

For more information see:
Princeton WorNet
Wiktionary
Community
Etymology and definition of the term “community

Got more to add? C’mon let’s talk.

Be irresistible.
–ME “Liz” Strauss

Decision or Choice: Is the Difference Stealing Your Focus and Your Time?

February 28, 2008 by Liz

Possibilities and Direction

You walk into an ice cream store. So many flavors sit in the case before you. You consider or you know right away. You place your order.

You have a meeting with your boss only to find out that the job you love is likely to be gone in six months. You have an opportunity to take a higher position in another state or you can stay in the city you love with a fair certainty that your job is going away.

One is a choice. The other is a decision.

One is about possibilities. The other is about direction.

Decision or Choice

Whether we’re thinking about sending a child to private school, where to go on holiday, or buying office supplies, every day we opt for one thing over another. Sometimes we’re choosing. Sometimes we’re deciding. Doing one when the other is called for can get in our way.

Do you know the difference between a choice and a decision? Consider what the words mean and how that might apply to your business and your life.

The Definitions [via Answers.com ]

A choice is a selection from a number or variety of options.
A decision is reaching a conclusion or passing judgment on an issue.

The Etymology — History of the Words [via Merriam-Webster Online,]

Choose — Etymology: Middle English chosen, from Old English cÄ“osan; akin to Old High German kiosan to choose, Latin gustare to taste
Decide — Middle English, from Latin decidere, literally, to cut off, from de- + caedere to cut

Synonyms [via Thesaurus.com]

Choose — (definition select) — accept, adopt, appoint, call for, cast, co-opt, commit oneself, crave, cull, decide on, designate, desire, determine, discriminate between, draw lots, elect, embrace, espouse, excerpt, extract, fancy, favor, finger, fix on, glean, judge, love, make choice, make decision, name, opt for, predestine, prefer, see fit, separate, set aside, settle upon, sift out, single out, slot, sort, tab, tag, take, take up, tap, want, weigh, will, winnow, wish, wish for
Decide — (definition determine) adjudge, adjudicate, agree, award, call shots*, choose, cinch, clinch, commit oneself, conclude, conjecture, decree, determine, elect, end, establish, figure, fix upon, form opinion, gather, guess, judge, mediate, opt, pick, poll, purpose, reach decision, resolve, rule, select, set, surmise, tap, vote, will

When we choose, it’s like picking an item from a menu. If we come back the next time, we can make another choice. But a decision, cuts off — kills — other options. By its very definiton a decision is a turning point.

Is the Difference Stealing Your Focus and Your Time?

Decisions and choices build our character, form our life path. They’re the sum and substance of what makes our resume and our business success. Even so, what is a decision or a choice for you, me, or anyone is, in itself, a decision or a choice.

How we handle decisions and choices deeply affects our lives.

Do you angst over every choice as a life-changing decision? Take a look at what you’re investing — time, energy, stress — and what you’re investing in.
Do you avoid clear decisions by treating them like choices? Take a look at the options you’re holding onto and how they’re holding you in place.

Those two mistakes steal time and focus and often generate stress.

The difference is fairly simple.
A decision marks a direction.
A choice marks an option until we return to choose again.

How will you use this information?

It’s your decision . . . or your choice.

Be irresistible.
–ME “Liz” Strauss

Liz and Lorelle at WordCamp 2008

February 3, 2008 by Liz

Okay So, Lorelle Is No Surprise!

One might expect to see Lorelle VanFossen, THE Lorelle of Lorelle on WordPress, to be speaking at an event such as WordCamp Dallas. But, I’m delighted to announce that I’ve been invited to participate as well.

The event, WordCamp, was started by WordPress founder, Matt Mullenweg, and has become an international event. Here’s a bit of the history described by the Weblog Tools Collection Blog.

The first WordCamp conference was held in July of 2006 in San Francisco. Matt Mullenweg pulled this event together in only three weeks time and ended up with about 300 people in the Swedish American Hall. The first international WordCamp event was held in Beijing China on September 1st, 2007. However, not too many people knew of the event. So the first KNOWN international WordCamp event took place in Israel on October 25, 2007. Since then, there have been WordCamps all across the world including Hamburg, Melbourne and soon to be Dallas.

WordCamp Dallas is a two-day event being held in Frisco, Texas at the George A. Purefoy Municipal Center on March 29 and 30, 2008. Here’s the list of speakers and what presentations are about.

You can see plenty of reasons to attend! Click this logo to register now!

Let me know if I’ll get to see you there!

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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Do You Talk Yourself Out of Living Life?

January 8, 2008 by Liz

(Updated in 2020.)

I’ve been thinking about subprime living.

At times in my life, in yours too I’d bet, a brighter future sits on the horizon. We look. We imagine ourselves in that future partaking of the what ifs and the could bes. We see the how to happiness, but don’t believe in it.

Then we talk ourselves out of living, using worn words like greener grass and harder they fall. We reign in our egos and close our eyes. Birds and airplanes spend time in clouds. Satellites and comets spend time with stars. We are people. We walk on sidewalks and wood floors.

We say we want. We say we will, and we’re invested. Yet we stop short of determination. We listen when others say, “No, don’t go.” We tell ourselves the reasons we’re wrong to try. While underneath, our fear is that we’ll fail and lose everything, that the brighter future won’t be so bright.

Thinking What we have is better than nothing. is subprime living. Not losing is no where near the same as a win.

Do you talk yourself out of living life?

Be determined. Bet on yourself. Live life. Live the prime of your life .

Be irresistible.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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