Search Results for: Please don't ask

Please Don’t Ask Before You Say Hello and Another 9 Don’ts

June 14, 2011 by Liz Leave a Comment

Lead with Relationships

Again this week, I got an email from someone who doesn’t know me, who wanted to engage my network in her cause. This post is about that one email exchange that exemplified too many don’ts in my inbox.

I’m a person, not a network. And my network is made up friends and colleagues I respect. I value them. I treasure them. I trust them. I know I can’t replace them. I don’t give, share, or sell their attention to people I don’t know. So please …

1. Don’t Ask for Things Before We Know Each Other

Any person who takes the shortest while to follow me online knows that I’m a giver and I love to support my friends. Any person who takes a second longer also knows that

I want a relationship not a one-link stand.

What that means is that I want to get to know you before I recommend you or share what you do with my friends.

2. Don’t Ask for My Network

Iâm writing because Iâve identified you as someone who is part of a networking empire that is basically unstoppable, and a major online influencer when it comes to what people are thinking and feeling and doing.

Translation: I want to use your network because my own isn’t big enough to reach my goal.

In itself that’s not a bad strategy to ask a friend to reach out to her network. But the relationship — the friendship and the trust — needs to be there first. This someone saw me as a channel of distribution, not a person. She wasn’t really looking at aligning our goals.

3. Don’t Assume Your Mission Is My Mission

The next five paragraphs were about her, her mission, and why her mission is important to her. Aside from describing their philosophy and stating that I lived it, the mission itself wasn’t very clear. Neither was why I should invest in it.

4. Don’t Lie by Omission

I got curious to find out more about the cause or the product that this mission was all about. It’s a retail and lifestyle brand of apparel. Funny how that never got mentioned in the first or the emails that followed.

5. Don’t Act Like I Work for You

Why have I gotten in touch with you today? Because I believe you embody my mission and can help others do the same.

Tweet the following message ….
Post the following message on Facebook …
Share the following message with your readers …

Again, I might do plenty for a friend, but without that relationship, calling me to action so directly was telling me to open my network to someone I’ve never met.

6. Don’t Ask Me to Cross the FTC

Doesn’t telling me what to tweet or post break the FTC rules?

7. Don’t Offer Me Favors

My lack of response might have signaled that I was busy or that I had a lack of interest. But apparently it did not. Soon I got a follow up repeating a shorter version of the same message above the original.

Did you get it? Do you have any questions for me?
I’m working to develop a huge wave of enthusiasm … hope I can count on your support. And since I know favors go both ways, in return for your support I’d like to offer you a limited edition … t-shirtâ¦
or maybe something else? Networking or entrepreneurial support?

8. Don’t Assume I Have Nothing Better to Do

Let’s talk, and find out more about how we can help each other. Please let me know your thoughts ASAP …

Your urgency isn’t my urgency. I have my own work.

9. Don’t Shout Louder After a “No, Thank You.”

I replied as graciously as I might. My exact reply was …

I got your message. You have a lovely message that you want to share. Your energy is admirable. I can see your passion for what you’re doing. I wish you the best of luck with it.

Unfortunately, my family, my clients, and current projects are all I can keep up with. It wouldn’t be fair to them to take on another project.

Thanks for asking,
Liz

I might have expected that would be the end, but it wasn’t.

The reply read:

Hi Liz,

I understand and thank you for your reply.

The real reason I’m connecting with you is because YOU (as an individual), appear to fit [our] profile and seem like someone who’d want to be a part of something great, in its infancy stages – by doing something little to help spread the word and enthusiasm.

Even if just via your personal Facebook account or something – is there any way you’d be willing to help me out?

There’s a free [deleted description] T-shirt in it if you are… :o)

Best to you with your business endeavors as well…

Two more emails followed in which I was commended for my “due diligence” in having checked out the emailer and set straight in that she had built her huge network from being positive and sincere with people who showed immediate enthusiasm for her cause.

I didn’t know that I had done that.

It was never mentioned that the “cause” was the philosophy behind a retail apparel brand.

These are only the don’ts from one email exchange with one person.

Do you have other don’ts that belong on this list?

Be Irresistible.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

Buy the Insider’s Guide to Online Conversation.

These are only the don’ts from one email exchange with one person.

Do you have other don’ts that belong on this list?

Be Irresistible.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

Buy the Insider’s Guide to Online Conversation.

Don’t miss a great hire – be careful what you ask for

August 19, 2010 by patty 8 Comments

by Patty Azzarello

Creative Thinking vs. Job Skills

This a story I first read about 15 years ago in an airline magazine. If you google âbaramoter storyâ youâll find mixed opinions on the source of it, but it a great story worth sharing.

Solve this problemâ¦

This was a science class and there was a homework problem which was the following:

If you needed to find out the height of a tall building using only a barometer, how would you do it?

The âcorrectâ answer involved measuring the air pressure at the top of the building and on the ground, and using the difference in air pressure to calculate the height of the building.Â Kids that used that approach and got the math right were marked correct and given full credit.

But there were two other answers that stood out to me, that the teacher marked wrong, with no credit.

I would have marked these correct and given these two students a job!

The first âwrongâ answer:

One student said he would take the barometer to the top of the building, drop it off, count how many seconds it takes to hit the ground, and calculate the height based on the time of the fall.

This is probably at least as accurate an answer as using the air pressure based approach.

The second âwrongâ answer â even better!

This student said, I would find the general manager of the building and say to him. âIf you tell me how tall this building is, I will give you this barometer.âÂ Â â Fantastic!

Not only did this solution meet the requirements of solving the problem, it was likely to give a far more accurate answer than the correct answer based on air pressure!

What a shame these two students were marked wrong. These are precisely the kind of creative thinking skills that help people solve important problems when the by-the-book way does not work.

Be careful what you ask for

I have made many hiring mistakes by looking for job skills â by keeping my interview only to the spec of what needed to be done by the person in the next 6-12 months.

People would come in with very impressive experience and just the right skills to do the job that needed to be done right now.Â These hires are so tempting because you can see how they will immediately take some pain away.

But, what about when the job changes?

But more often than not, when the world changes around them, they get stuck.Â They donât adapt easily.Â They need to find another job that matches their skills vs. being able to step up to do the new job that needs to be done.

Hire Fast Learners

The most valuable hires are the ones that can do the job today, but also can learn and adapt. You are far more likely to hire a star if you ask questions that get at how the person thinks, and hire creative thinkers that are fast learners.

In your interview process you need to try and assess how much potential the person has to learn, and judge how fast they will grow.Â People with the most room for growth and the most acceleration (smarts and ambition) are your best hires.

This approach is valuable from hiring summer interns, toÂ top executives.Â I have used it at every level, once I learned that sticking to the job spec doesnât work very well.

Some approachesâ¦

1. Puzzles: Actually give someone a puzzle to solve.Â Some people will get annoyed and refuse to engage,Â some will give up very quickly, and others will visibly start thinking and working it out.Â They will tell you how they are thinking about approaching the problem.Â They will ask you more questions about it. Hire the person who is doing something with the problem.

2. Stories: Ask for stories about how the world was different when they first got into a job compared to how it is now.Â What did they think needed to be done?Â What new ideas did they come up with?Â What changes did they drive?Â If they just did the job as-is for a few years, and did not grow the responsibility or usefulness of their role, they are not a top hire.

3. Actual Problems: Tell them a situation that you are facing that needs a solution.Â Ask them to talk through how they would approach it.Â The ones that say, I donât know yet, Iâd need to get into the job first, are not your top people.Â The ones that ask a bunch more questions and say, of course Iâd need to listen and learn more, but from what I know right now this is what I thinkâ¦ and start offering insights, have stronger creative thinking skills.

What clever interview techniques have you used to get the best hires?

Please share the great questions, puzzles, problems or other approaches you’ve used to learn more about your candidates’ creative thinking skills. I’d love to hear your ideas in the comment box.

—–
Patty Azzarello works with executives where leadership and business challenges meet. She has held leadership roles in General Management, Marketing, Software Product Development and Sales, and has been successful in running large and small businesses. She writes at The Azzarello Group Blog. You’ll find her on Twitter as @PattyAzzarello

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Yes, Please! — Thank You! — You’re Welcome!

February 9, 2007 by Liz Leave a Comment

I’ve been thinking about a post called Dante would be proud, at the Church of the Customer for two weeks now. The post is only 7 lines long, but points to a Wall Street Journal article about a law firm that is teaching it’s partners to have manners.

It sounds like they’re learning via PowerPoint. Ouch!

I can understand the position they’re in. I lost my manners once. I’m not sure when or where they went. Maybe they left when we changed to a casual dress code at work, or maybe they flew the coop when parents let their kids call adults by first names. I don’t know

I just know that mine were restored by a lovely 8-year-old Australian girl.

We were at a gathering at a home where I was staying while working on a publishing project. The young lady’s mother was an author on the project and is a friend. This young lady herself is a fabulous conversation partner. While we were talking, I volunteered to help her fill her plate from the massive buffet that was being offered. My arms were longer.

Each time I asked, Would you like this?

My sweet new acquaintance answered with, Yes, please. Thank you! or No, thank you.

How could I NOT say You’re welcome to a smiling face saying that? How could I not MEAN You’re welcome? It felt good to help her choose what she liked.

Several Yes, pleases in a row took me back to second grade, hearing my teacher say, We’re polite to show other people we care and to give them our respect.

I’ve been saying, Yes, please. No, thank you. and You’re Welcome. ever since. In a way, saying, Yes please, makes me feel brand new — like a kid again.

Yes please is so much more fun to say than just saying Yes.

This weekend I’m going to be saying Yes, please! Thank you! You’re Welcome! whenever I can

Thank you for reading this. . . . Thank you again. 🙂

NBC Don’t Change My New Year’s Eve Plans!!!

December 26, 2006 by Liz Leave a Comment

Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should

Now, I’m no great football fan, but I know a thing or two about people and plans.

The game between the Chicago Bears and Green Bay Packers has been changed from Sunday afternoon to Sunday night.

This from the NBC Sports Website
The Chicago Bears will host the Green Bay Packers on Sunday Night Football on NBC, Dec. 31, in the final flex game for the 2006 season.

[ . . . ]

NBC’s coverage starts with Football Night in America at 7 p.m. ET. Kickoff is at 8:15.

During Week 17, the decision to move a game-time start can be cut to six days — the league has said the idea is to aim for a night game with playoff implications. Only games originally scheduled for Sunday afternoon are eligible for a swing to Sunday night.

Did no one care that Sunday night is NewYear’s Eve?

What about . . .

the folks with season tickets who have other plans?
the folks who’ve spent money on romantic evenings?
the woman I just heard crying on sports radio about her wedding that was planned for after the game with her family of football fans?
the guys who planned to propose in grand fashion that evening?
the people who wanted to watch the game that afternoon with their families?
the folks who had plans to attend and now can’t?

Who was NBC choosing for? In 1968, NBC chose to cut the Super Bowl to start a movie. That disaster is now called the Heidi Game.

I find this decision beyond “business amazing.” It’s stunning in it’s thoughtlessness. It asks the audience to change their life at NBC’s whim. The rules say that they can do this. Just because they can, doesn’t make it a good idea.

Please help me understand this. I’m truly baffled here.

–ME “Liz” Strauss

Before You Ask for that Link, Know I’m a Relationship Blogger

August 30, 2006 by Liz 89 Comments

Blogging Is Relationships

Let me introduce myself. My name is Liz. I’m delighted that you emailed me about a link from my blog! What a lovely compliment.

But I’m a little concerned too . . . You see, that was all that your email said, “Could we trade links?”

I need to confess something before we go further.

I’m the kind of blogger who wants a relationship not a one link stand.

Please understand I love to share links, but to give a link means to give my trust, my endorsement, and my belief that your blog will continue to make a relevant contribution to the blogosphere. How can I do that if I don’t even know you?

Do you about the SOB links or how they work?

[Read more…]

An Open Thought: Please Take the Keys

April 16, 2006 by Liz 58 Comments

32 Reallys

Last night, Gary paid me a stellar compliment for the whole world to see in two separate places. Wow, it was such a cool gesture, on so many levels, and totally unexpected. After a certain age, unexpected surprises aren’t usually good, so that made it even better.

On top of that, what Gary said underscored what I had said in the post that had started the entire chain of events–if you take a few minutes to do a favor for someone it often comes back in the most unexpected ways. Thank you, Gary. Thank you, Joe. Thank you, Keith.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. As my son used to say, “32 reallys.”

A Path of Favors

A whole string of events have occurred to lead up to this post. I think of them as a path of favors. One conversation led to another and then to another until we are here. The chain of events, the path of the two favors in question, went like this.

The Path of These Two Favors

2. I was already at the keyboard when each man asked. Each favor took almost no time. Both favors were a fun break from the boring work I was doing, and both times I was left with a feeling of doing well by doing something good for someone else.

3. My small gesture came to me in not two, but three, unexpected ways–from Joe, Keith, and then Gary.

Then a bonus occurred.

4. Inside his response, Gary did me a favor in return without knowing it.

That’s the thing about favors and saying YES–the universe often starts saying YES back in so many ways. Favors reproduce faster than Easter bunnies (and folks don’t bite their heads off.)

Leaving a Thought Open

You see, I’ve been working on a problem with my writing, especially the writing I do on this blog. Conversation is so important to me. It gets lonely here inside the computer, and ideas need dialogue to grow. The blogosphere doesn’t need me talking at it. It needs folks talking together, shaping ideas–twisting and turning them, stretching them into new thinking. Besides, it’s more fun that way.

Gary stated my problem for me last night in a tactful and generous way–much better than I could have done myself. He said

I used to comment more than I do now, but she writes so completely that I find it difficult to add my thoughts to hers.

I know that’s a compliment, Gary. Thank you.

I value your mind and your thoughts and insights too. I can’t seem to figure out how to leave a thought open enough so that you and everyone else can have room to speak.

That’s the problem I’ve wanted to ask you about. My book background taught me to over-explain things. When I do that, you have no room to talk.

The Lost Relationship Builder

This particular skill, this blogger’s relationship builder–leaving a thought open–I had this skill not ago–It seems to be one I’ve lost track of. I keep tying things up so tightly, even I can see there’s not room to add much. I’ve been reading old posts to find out what I did differently a few months ago, especially this one, More Blog Designs to Discuss.

That was December 2005. Obviously my customer think was different then. It had to be. I’d love to get some of that back. We all need that skill.

Please Take the Keys

Movie stars have directors. Olympic athletes have coaches. I’m just a blogger. I have you.

If we’re talking about customer think–brand you and me–what better case study than this blog itself? You can’t hurt my feelings talking about my writing. I know it’s not who I am. I’d like to know how to get myself off the stage and back into the audience again. Will you tell me what you see? Would you do me that favor? Just say YES.

Sometimes the customer needs to be in the driver’s seat. Please take the keys.

How will I learn if you don’t?

Brand you and me.